Who Are You? What's Your Purpose?

So I know it's been forever.  I have to admit that I've allowed some negative thoughts to keep me from writing.  I mentioned in my last post about being published in a book.  I got my copies of the book and was very excited that my message was going to be able to reach more people.  My desire was not for fame or money, but simply that the truths I had learned that enabled me to overcome my 22-year-long eating disorder would now possibly help more people through this book.  I truly am so passionate about sharing this message that I feel God has given me to share.  My purpose is to share it.  It has changed my life and I know it can change others' lives too because it is truth.  Accepting and acting on the truth of who we are not only sets us free, but it also allows us to feel peace and joy right now.  And that's what I want everyone to feel . . . peace and joy right now!

Well, I guess I had some expectations about how people would respond to the book.  My expectations weren't met and I became disappointed and discouraged.  Now don't get me wrong.  I have lots of supporters and wonderful people who have gotten my book and I am so grateful for them, but others have not gotten my book or read my chapter.  I allowed myself to dwell on that negative part.  Instead of focusing on the fact that I was published in a book and my message was getting out there, I dwelt on the fact that people weren't responding to my book like I had expected or wanted them to.  I allowed myself to feel hurt, offended and essentially got really wrapped up in self-pity.

I learned several great lessons through this little test.  I learned that I have to let go of the expectations I place on others.  I cannot control other people.  They have their agency.  So let go and let God, right?  The people that need my message will be led to the book or my blog or me.  God will take care of that.  It is out of my control.  In the end, it was my expectations that hurt me, not what other people did.  I hurt myself by expecting things from others that I could not control.

Another great lesson I learned was that just because other people didn't accept, buy or read my book doesn't mean I'm unacceptable.  Isn't it so sad that we let our worth and value be dependent on how the world sees us?  It really is a crying shame!!!  We are worth so much more than what this world can see!  However, it is true that not everyone will accept us or our purpose.  Let me say two words here . . . Jesus Christ.  He came to this world to share the ultimate saving truths with all who would hear.  Did everyone hear?  Did everyone accept Him or His message?  Ummm.  No.  He was crucified because He never once denied the truth of who He was or the truth of the message He was sent down to earth by His Father to share.  He did what God asked Him to do.  Most of us will not be asked to lay down our lives to be true to who we are and the message we've been asked to share by God, but most of us will be asked to endure rejection, unacceptance, and being unloved.  I had to remember this in order to snap out of my self-pity.  I do know who I am.  I do know that my message is the message God wants me to share.  It has value because it is truth.  How people respond to me or my message doesn't change that.

I also learned how Satan will continue to come at us where we are weak.  My weakness has always been the thoughts of "I'm not good enough.  I'm not loved, approved of, or accepted."  Yes, I have done several write and burns about these thoughts, but as I have said before, Satan will never stop trying to ensnare and deceive us.  He knows our weaknesses and will constantly come at us through those weak points in order to drag us down.  Because I was dwelling on the lofty expectation that everyone was going to want my book, I put my guard down and was not being self-aware or even realistic.  I let some pride creep in.  That provided a perfect open door for Satan to enter and throw some negative thoughts into my mind.  And I chose to believe him.  Because I allowed myself to believe the thoughts of "I'm not good enough" and "I'm not loved or accepted," I found myself feeling depressed and discouraged.  I then stopped writing in my blog because I feared the pain of being rejected and unaccepted even more.  Can you see the thought cycle playing out here?  Do you see what happened when I believed Satan's lies and started to fear?  I completely stopped being true to who I was.  I stopped acting on my passion and purpose and therefore became sad, depressed and discouraged.  Those lies shut me down physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually.  He got to every part of me because I believed just one thought that he threw at me.  And that's how Satan gets us.  He is that tricky.  He is that good at what he does.  And he will do it if we are not aware.

But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts . . . ye must perish.

Mosiah 4:30

Thankfully I have pulled out of this through self-awareness, using my tools, and most importantly, remembering who I really am and what my purpose is.  So I wanted to just expand on this concept of what our purpose is.  Our purpose is also referred to as our reason why, our center, or our work here on earth.  If you remember, the Life Cycle illustrates for us what our reason why does for us.  Here's the Life Cycle again.

The rope on the left side represents our reason why, our purpose.  That rope is what allows us to climb back up to the top.  When we hold on tightly to our reason why, then Satan or the winds and storms of life won't have the power to push us back down.  I had forgotten my purpose for a time because I was too focused on what other people thought of me and my book.  As soon as I regained self-awareness and realized what was going on, I used my tools (the ladder) like the write and burn, my black book and my mirror tool to climb back up.  Then I had to grasp tightly to my purpose, my reason why, to get me back up to the top again.  Knowing your purpose will get you through the hard times, and even the good times.  Don't let good times fool you.  Don't let them stop you from being self-aware, from being humble, meek, teachable and contrite.  Because if you do, you will definitely get slammed with an experience that will cause you to slip and fall and hit hard without those pillows there to catch you.  The pillows are only there to catch you when you're self-aware.  And I learned that once again this past weekend.

Let me say one thing before I go on.  You might be wondering why you should listen to me because I still have low times.  If I really knew what I was talking about then why do I still struggle?  The short answer . . . I am still a mortal human being.  I am not perfect.  I am not whole.  I am still learning and I still have a long way to go.  In fact, the testing and the trials will never stop until I have passed on to the other side and only then will I be made perfect and whole through Christ's grace and mercy if I have done my part.  However, what I do know is that I was living in a very dark abyss and now because of the tools and the truths that I have learned, I am living in the light. I am no longer living years and months at the bottom of my life cycle.  I am not living at the top all of the time either, but I am up on top the majority of the time.  And once again, that is the goal - to live this positive, light-filled, joyous way of life the majority of the time.  None of us will ever be able to stay up top all the time.  That is an impossibility as long as we are mortal human beings living on this earth, but it can definitely be where we are the majority of our lives.  Don't we all want that?  If you want that, then lean on my knowledge and understanding if you have to for a time.  I know what I have shared with you in this blog is truth and it works.  If you want to know for yourself, then act on the principles I have shared with you.  I promise you, your life will be changed for the better.

So back to our topic - how do you find your reason why?  How do you discover your purpose?  It took me awhile to realize mine.  At first I thought knowing your purpose meant you knew exactly what you were going to do with your life.  But I realized that's not the point.  I needed to find out my reason why so that I had direction in my life.  I had been a very indecisive person because I didn't know who I was or what my driving force was.  Where did I want to go?  What did I want to achieve and do?  What were my dreams and desires?  I needed to know what my purpose was so that when opportunities or things came up, I could say, "Do I want to do that?  Is that in line with who I am and what I am meant to do?"  When I discovered my purpose, my life took on a whole new level of meaning.  Knowing my purpose has allowed me to act with purpose.  It allowed me to find meaning and joy in even the mundane tasks of doing dishes, making dinner and folding laundry because part of my purpose was to be the wife and mother God needed me to be.  It allowed me to not be so divided in so many different activities.  I could say "No" and not feel guilty because I recognized there were some things I just couldn't do or I didn't want to do because it didn't fit in to what my purpose and direction was for my life.  I was able to simplify my life and invest my time in the activities that reflected who I was and what my purpose was.  And by doing that, I was able to feel more peace and joy than I have ever felt before!

One of my favorite books is Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill.  Another book I highly suggest reading!  In this book, Napoleon Hill basically interviews the Devil and what is revealed is amazing.  We read that Satan basically gets control over us when we don't think for ourselves, don't have a purpose and a plan to fulfill that purpose.  Are we letting others govern our life for us?  Are we letting life control us?  Not having a purpose means we are just drifting through life.  We let life happen to us instead of causing life to happen for us.  Knowing and acting on our purpose means we are living intentionally.  When we live intentionally with purpose, our dreams and desires for our life become realized.  I love a quote that I can't find and I can't exactly remember word for word.  It says something to the effect of you have the choice to do one of two things in life - work hard to fulfill your own dreams or work hard to fulfill the dreams of others.  Who are you working hard for?  Whose dreams are you fulfilling?  If you do not know what your dreams even are, then guaranteed you are working to fulfill someone else's dreams.

One of the realities of this process is that it is harder to discover our purpose until we have room enough to receive it.  I have seen it in my life and in the lives of others that when we are so filled with the negative, we don't have room to receive the positive truth of who we really are and what we are meant to do.  So the first step in finding your purpose is to continue to let go of the negative.  Use the tools I have given you or the tools you already have to let go of the negative so that you can create room for the positive.   As soon as you start creating that space and at the same time are actively seeking your purpose, inspiration and truth will begin to flood in and little by little, your purpose will become evident to you.  

The next step has to do with God.  Since God is the one that created us and designed our personal plan for us, He is the one that knows our purpose.  He gave it to us.  Remember, God said to Moses:

And I have a work for thee, Moses, my son . . .

Moses 1:6

God said to Jeremiah:

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Jeremiah 1:5

The same is said of prophets of our day and age.

If God said these things to these men, He said it to all of us before we came to earth.  God knew each of us before we were born and He gave each of us a work and purpose to fulfill while we were here.  So pray.  Meditate.  Ask God to help you discover your purpose, or in other words, what work He sent you down here to perform. 

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

For everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Matthew 7:7-8

As we open our hearts and minds to God, His truth will come in.  I have always loved the picture of Christ knocking at a door.

Notice how there is no handle on the outside of the door.  The handle is on the inside which means we are the only ones that can open that door.  God will not force His way in, but He is always standing there waiting for us to open the door and let Him in.

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him. . .

Revelation 3:20

If we want to access the truth of who we are and what our purpose is, then we need to ask the Author of all truth.  Asking God and opening our hearts and minds to Him will allow Him and His truth to enter.  For those of you that are LDS, your patriarchal blessing is an incredible source of truth and knowledge about who you really are.  What a wonderful tool to help you discover your work and purpose here on earth.  Study it.  Attend the temple, attend church, read the scriptures, fulfill your calling, follow the Prophet, etc.  Doing each of these things invites the Spirit and personal revelation.  By being obedient, we are entitled to blessings.  The Lord wants to bless us with every good gift, but He too is bound by law.  Negative and positive cannot occupy the same space.  That is basic science.  That is law.  So let go of the negative and make room for the positive so God's truth can enter.

We then need to be patient and allow the knowledge of what our purpose is to come as it may.  God will give us more as we are ready for it.

For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have.

2 Nephi 2:28

It will take time.  Have faith.

Finally, when we have those "A-ha!" moments of who we are and what our purpose is, we need to do all we can to act on it.  Only then will we reap the reward.  Only then will we not only find incredible peace and joy, but we will be an incredible influence for good in the lives of others.  Everyone's purpose involves helping and serving others.  Our joy essentially comes from the act of sharing who we are and our purpose with others, having a desire to serve and help others.  

One of my favorite all-time movies is Rise of the Guardians.  This movie so beautifully illustrates through characters we all know and love this process of living without purpose, feeling hopeless and without direction, to finding your purpose, acting on it and being filled with light, joy, hope, and peace.  I've embedded some scenes in here so you'll just need to click on the word "here" and it will take you right to the scene in Youtube.  This first scene helps us understand what it means to know our center, or our purpose.  I just love it!  Pay attention to how Santa describes his center to Jack Frost.  Click here to watch.

Isn't that fantastic?  I love how Santa talks about his center.  He talks about being born with this quality of wonder, big eyes that only see the wonder in everything.  I love how he says it is what he puts into the world and what he protects in children.  So there are some ideas of what to look for in yourself.  What attributes and qualities, gifts and talents, passions and desires were you born with?  What beliefs run deep in to your soul?  What do you stand for?  What fills you with joy and excitement when you do it?  What do you bring into this world and what do you strive to protect or inspire in others?

It took Jack Frost awhile to figure out his center, but when he did figure it out, it was a moment of complete enlightenment or an "A-ha!" moment as I like to call it.  In this next clip, you'll see the very moment when Jack realizes what his center is.  Pay particular attention to what happens to the little boy, Jamie, as Jack acts on the truth of who he is, as he becomes one with his center.  Click here to watch.

Powerful huh?  If you haven't seen the movie, go watch it!  It's incredible!  The dark guy, Pitch Black, represents the Boogeyman or Satan or darkness or evil or whatever you want to refer to him as.  So how did Jack dispel and disarm Satan or evil?  He acted on his center!  His center was to have fun!  When he threw that snowball, not only did it distract, shock and surprise Pitch Black from his evil designs, but it also did something to Jamie.  Jamie had said he was scared, but when Jack acted on his truth, it allowed Jamie to let go of his fear.  He laughed which is a huge sign of release and letting go.  Remember the quote by Marianne Williamson?  It fits perfectly with this scene.  Here it is again.

Repeat of Favorite Quote #7:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most...We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson, American author and lecturer

Powerful stuff!  Because Jack Frost let his light shine and let go of his fear, he enabled Jamie to do the same.  And did you see the joy that radiated off of Jack not only when he discovered his center, but even more so when he acted on it?  A little bit later in the show, we see what happens as a result of Jack acting on his center.  It's a total ripple effect.  We see Jamie now empowered to act because he had let go of his fear and discovered his purpose of simply believing.  So pay attention to what happens to everyone else when Jamie acts on his truth instead of fear.  Click here to watch the clip.  

"I do believe in you.  I'm just not afraid of you."  Oh my goodness!  What an incredible declaration of truth and power!  Did you see all that happened when one little boy acted on his truth instead of fear?  Unbelievable!  Everyone was empowered!  Everyone then acts on truth instead of fear!  And they are all laughing and happy while they do it!  The result is that Pitch Black is defeated!!  It's just such a beautiful enactment of what happens when we act on our center, on the truth of who we are.

My friends, I know this true.  It is all truth!!  I have experienced this truth again just this past week.  Don't let Satan or the Boogeyman cause you to fear.  Yes, he is real.  If we deceive ourselves into believing he is not real then we've just provided a way for him and the darkness to enter.  He is never going to stop trying to take us out and crush us through our fear.  Just like Jamie said, we have to believe and know that he is there, be we don't have to fear him.  So do all you can to find your purpose and then don't let anything get in your way of acting on it!  Knowing and acting on your purpose dispels fear.  And when you do that, not only will you change the lives of people around you, but you will be happier than you ever imagined possible!  I know I've said that a billion times but I just can't say it enough!  It is my purpose to declare it!!

Stand up and stand tall!  Be true to who you are!  Act on your center!  Be your own beautiful!  Live your life with purpose, on purpose, according to your purpose!

Just go be YOU or as I like to put it . . .

be.YOU.tiful!!!