What Are You Focusing On This Holiday Season?

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  The holidays are officially here!  It freaks me out a little bit because there is so much to do, but it excites me too because I love the spirit of the season!  So how do we keep ourselves from not letting the stress of the holidays overtake us?  How do we stay connected to what this season is really all about - love, service, joy, forgiveness, and gratitude?

I've been thinking a lot about the Law of Attraction.  This concept became widely known and popular when the movie and book The Secret came out.  While I love the book and the movie, I would like to take this post to explain the Law of Attraction in the way I have learned it and experienced it.

All that I have stated in my blog supports the concept of the Law of Attraction.  A couple posts ago, I listed several quotes written by James Allen and all of them relate to the idea that what we think about and focus on determines what we get back in life.  I like to also call this law the Law of Focus.  Whatever we focus on is typically what we get.  I heard a gentleman speak of this in regards to hang-gliding.  He was a hang-glider himself and said there is a common problem amongst hang-gliders where they will focus on the obstacles in their way and then end up crashing into them.  For example, if they focused on a rock that loomed in front of them, they would most likely hit it.  If instead they would focus on the sky and their ability to soar high, they would miss that rock.  So he posed the question, "What are you focusing on?"  That's really what happens with the Law of Attraction.  If we are focused on our past failures or painful experiences, our obstacles, our weaknesses, or our fear of the future and failing again, then our actions will lead us to fail.  If we focus on success, on our belief that we are good enough and that we can succeed, then our actions will bring success.  If we focus on a rock, then we'll hit it.  If we focus on the sky, then we'll fly!

Favorite Quote #62:

If you think you can, you can.  If you think you can't, you're right.

Recently, I watched the movie Meet the Robinsons with my kids.  I had seen it before but it took on a whole new meaning this time.  It is one of my new favorite movies!  There is a great part where the old Goob, the evil villain in the show, goes back in time and accidentally runs into the young Goob while looking for someone else.  Click here to see the interaction between the old and young Goob.

So sad!  This little kid got treated unfairly.  I find his experience symbolic of what happens in all of our lives.  We get thrown curve balls in life all of the time and sometimes we fail to catch them.  Goob didn't catch this one and he got beat up for it.  But he has a choice here.  He can choose to let it go as his coach advised him, or he can do what the old Goob suggests.  Click here to see what the old Goob advises the young Goob to do.

Great advice huh?  I don't know about you, but I totally want to have a life like Goob constantly seeking revenge, living in hate and anger and misery.  Not really!  But he was right.  If we hold onto the negative past, letting it fester and boil inside of us, locking those feelings up and letting them fuel our actions, letting hate be our ally, then we will be capable of "wonderfully horrid things"!  That is definitely the truth!

During another scene, the old Goob talks about this point in his young life when he made the choice to hang on to his hate and anger instead of letting it go.  He considered himself a victim of Lewis' actions and decided to blame Lewis for his misfortune and misery.  His purpose in life then became seeking revenge on Lewis.  Click here to watch the clip of how Goob perceived his world when he was young because he chose to not let go.

Once again so sad!  All the kids were trying to be kind and even invite him over to play, but because Goob believed he was a failure, unlikable and unworthy of friends, no matter what they said, he believed they all hated him.

Repeat of Favorite Quote #59:

We don't see things as they are.  We see things as we are.

Repeat of Favorite Quote #54:

The only reason it's a part of your life is because you keep thinking about it.

Goob not only chose to hang on to his anger and hate, but he let it become is absolute focus.  Because of that, hate and anger was the lens through which he saw the world.  And as a bonus result, Goob actually became hate and anger himself.  So let me ask the question again - what is our focus?  Do we really want to focus on all the negative so that we give ourselves the same kind of future that Goob got?  We may not think it will hurt us or affect us like young Goob probably thought, but fast forward to the old Goob and you can see how holding onto the negative past absolutely determined his negative future.

Let me just share with you my experience as I made the shift from thinking negatively to positively.  You know about my story and my struggles for 22 years of my life.  I was one of those people that constantly dwelt on my faults, weaknesses, and imperfections.  I always had a guilty conscience because I never felt good enough or perfect enough.  Because I focused on the negative about me and my life, my life presented me with more negative.  I too, like Goob, thought I wasn't good enough, therefore no matter what good things people said to me, I didn't believe them.  It was the lens through which I saw my world.  When I embarked on this journey of letting go, I had no idea of what to expect.  It was scary and frightening, but I was on my last leg.  It was my last hope.  My mentor taught me to focus on becoming aware of what was going on in my mind, particularly identifying and letting go of my negative thoughts and feelings while filling myself with the positive truth of who I really was.  As I let go of more and more of the negative attachments and baggage that I had been holding onto, I made room for more and more positive.  And that's when I became a magnet for more and more positive.

I'm just going to list off several of the positive things that started happening in my life at this point.  I just want you to understand and grasp how powerful the act of letting go is.  When you change your focus to positive, you attract positive then a positive way of life becomes the majority of your life.

1- A gal moved into my neighborhood with whom I instantly connected and we became BFF's.  It was as if we were kindred spirits from our pre-earth life reuniting once again.  I had never quite felt that way about a friend before.  It soon proved that she came into my life for more reasons than just being a BFF.

2- This BFF was amazingly good at organizing, simplifying and letting go of unnecessary "stuff".  I had been feeling a need to physically "clean out" my exterior life because I had been "cleaning out" my interior life.  I particularly needed help in regards to my clothes closet, but it overwhelmed me too much to do it by myself.  God sent me this BFF to help me with this.  My closet was stuffed with clothes that I never wore and clothes that I didn't even like.  I bought clothes because they looked somewhat decent on, what I considered, a very fat and very ugly body.  I had also hung onto clothes in smaller sizes from long ago in the hopes that I would fit into them again.  Can you just feel the weight and burden on my shoulders from holding onto all those clothes?  So she helped me get rid of all the unnecessary "stuff" in my closet.  She asked me, "Do you love this?" about every piece of clothing.  Most of the time I said no.  She encouraged me to just give the clothes to DI (charity) and let them go.  I had a very difficult time letting the clothes go realizing how much money I had spent collecting them all.  But I pressed through and I did it.  I realized I would bless others more by giving it away than by holding onto it or even selling it.  I gave away 10 bags of clothes to DI that night.  And I felt so free!!!

3- I have heard before that if you want new clothes, then clean out and get rid of the ones you have.  That's exactly what happened.  As I physically let go of all the unused, unwanted, unneeded clothes in my closet, I made room for clothes I wanted and loved.  I physically let go of the negative and made room for the positive.  This happened in such a cool way!  This same BFF happened to have a friend who was an Image Consultant in clothing and makeup.  I mentioned this to my husband.  When my birthday rolled around, he surprised me with a shopping spree with this gal to go get a new wardrobe and to have a makeup consultation.  What a fun night that was!  This talented woman came to my house and checked out my closet.  With absolutely no judgement, she looked at the few remaining clothes I had held onto and made one comment.  She said that I wore too much material.  My clothes were all baggy and oversized.  And because I wore big baggy clothes, I looked bigger than I actually was.  We then went to the mall and she started picking out clothes that she thought would work for me.  What I discovered shocked me!  I found out I was wearing a whole size too big.  I had worn baggy shirts, skirts, shorts and pants, but I looked good in skinny jeans and pencil skirts.  I discovered a whole new style that I never thought my body could do.  I felt like a new person that night!  In addition, this gal taught me how to do my makeup in a way that accentuated my features.  She gave me physical tools through the clothes and makeup I wore that enabled me to feel better about myself.

4- During this time, I was led to a doctor that helped me figure out my hormone issues and I got balanced.  She also had me take an allergy test which helped me identify the food I was allergic to.  I had the power and the ability to not eat those foods because I had let go of my attachments to food.  My digestive issues improved.  I started to lose weight.  I had more energy and slept better.  I just felt so much better physically.

5- My BFF once again helped me by encouraging me to try a workout that she had been doing for some time.  I was hooked the first time I tried it and I have been doing it for over a year now.  By finding an exercise I love to do, I have stuck with it and continue to do it on a regular basis.  This has benefitted me physically, emotionally, mentally and socially.  Recently, an opportunity opened up for me to become an instructor of this workout method.  I never thought I would ever be a workout instructor, but here I am.  I am excited about this new opportunity because I love the method and because it has helped me transform my body.  (If you are interested, the workout is called Karve.  It's a ballet bar method and the studio is in Lindon, UT.  It originated in Arizona so it's obviously there as well.)

6- Because I felt better about myself physically due to a wardrobe and makeup makeover, because this doctor helped me balance my hormones and discover the foods I was allergic to, because I found a workout that I loved and was dedicated to, I lost 30 lbs.  I let go of the negative emotionally and mentally FIRST which then enabled me to let go of the negative, excess baggage in my body and in my world.  My dream of feeling good and confident about myself was coming true.

7- All of these things together resulted in increased self-confidence.  I became more passionate about my purpose because I believed in myself more and I spoke freely to others about my story and how I had found peace and happiness.  I started getting asked to speak to different groups and have since spoken at many firesides, youth camps, workshops and other events.  I love to teach and speak so my dream to be a motivational and inspirational speaker was coming true.

8- I felt inspired to start this blog and it has been an amazing tool for me to get my thoughts written down in an organized way.  My dream is to compile all of these thoughts into a book.  My mentor introduced me to an accomplished mentor, author, and film-maker named Woody Woodward.  Through Woody, I had the opportunity to author a chapter in a book that was just published entitled Achieve - Conversations with Top Achievers. This was a huge step for me in fulfilling my dream of writing my own book.  Having a chapter in a book is a great way to get my foot in that door.

9- My marriage and family life is filled with so much more love, peace and joy.  That doesn't mean my marriage and family life is perfect.  There are still struggles, but my ability to deal with life with more patience, love, and calmness has greatly increased.  I have become more of the mother and wife that I have always wanted to be.

10- I had a desire and felt a need to serve God more.  My passion has always been teaching.  I was soon called to a teaching position in my ward (church) that was daunting, but has since proved incredibly rewarding and fulfilling.  I have learned and grown so much.  I have absolutely loved my role as a teacher and have been so grateful for God's trust in me to teach His children.

11- Because of my desire to be a tool in the Lord's hand in helping others, He has brought several people to my door who I am now mentoring, helping them along their path of letting go of the negative, embracing and acting on the positive, and creating the peace and joy in their lives that they have been searching for.

Do you see how all of this came about?  It came because my focus was on letting go of the negative and embracing the positive.  My focus was on living in the moment by making the choices in the moment that would help me create my peace and happiness.  I didn't focus on the "what-ifs" or even on my dreams.  I was no longer saying to myself "As soon as I reach my dreams I'll be happy."  Instead I asked myself, "Am I happy right now?  What can I do to be happy right now?  How can I be happier in this moment?"  And usually the answer to those questions was to do something connected to fulfilling my purpose, to be what God created me to be.  Because of this focus, all of my dreams started coming true.

Favorite Quote #62:

You don't surrender your dreams.  You surrender the one thing you'll never have and you never will.  CONTROL!  Accept that you don't control what will happen to you.  That you may or may not and that you're something exceptional either way.

Peaceful Warrior

That's what I did.  I gave up the control of the end result.  We can't control our future.  We can't control what the outcome may be of this or that.  All we can control is the choice we make in the moment, in the now, trusting that by being true to who we are, it doesn't matter if we win or lose, we are something amazing either way.

When I made those momentary choices, I put God first.  Instead of going about my day doing a bunch of random things that didn't matter, I asked God what He would have me do, how I could fulfill His purpose for my life.  My life soon became filled with meaning because I was being proactive about life instead of reactive.  Like I mentioned in my last post, I acted on purpose, with a purpose, for a purpose.  Even laundry, dishes, and cooking meals became more enjoyable because they were part of my purpose.  I believe with God all things are possible, so when I started making His will the priority in my life, everything else fell into place and my dreams started to become reality.

Favorite Quote #63:

If you put God first in your life, everything else will either fall into place or fall out of importance in your life.

Let me illustrate this for you in a diagram.

Many of us spend our energy, money and time trying to get the things we need and want.  We think that if we don't work like crazy and do all we can to get those things that they won't come to us.  Obviously we do have to work hard for the things we need and want, but we often go about it in a way that completely drains us of our money, energy, time and resources.  There is a more productive, beneficial, energy-saving way of going about it.  There is an order in receiving the things we want and achieving the dreams we dream of.  The arrows in this next diagram show us the way.

Instead of leaving God out of the equation, He needs to be the focal point of the equation.  When we put Him first, when our focus is on being what He needs us to be and doing what He needs us to do, then the money, resources and people will come to us which will enable us to achieve the dreams we dream of.

This is exactly what happened to me.  It is truth my friends!  This is how the Law of Attraction works.  If you want your dreams to be realized, put God's will for you first in your life.  Focus on the truth of who you really are.  Be who He created you to be.  Do what He created you to do.  You are not giving up your self-identity, personality or individuality by doing this.  On the contrary!!  God doesn't want to take away who you uniquely are.  That would completely go against His whole purpose for creating you the way He did for the reasons He did.  He wants to empower you to be the greatest, most incredible version of you possible.  And I promise you, as soon as you experience that incredible version of you, you will never go back.  You will never want to be anything else but what God has designed you to be.  The joy and peace He rewards you with by doing His will and being who He created you to be can't be topped by any worldly joy or pleasure.

So go be your best and brightest self!  Become a magnet for your dreams by putting God first!  There is no greater joy!  There is no greater reward!

Have an incredibly wonderful, beautiful, merry holiday season!  May your dreams come true as you are true to you!!!

be.YOU.tiful!!!

Who Are You? What's Your Purpose?

So I know it's been forever.  I have to admit that I've allowed some negative thoughts to keep me from writing.  I mentioned in my last post about being published in a book.  I got my copies of the book and was very excited that my message was going to be able to reach more people.  My desire was not for fame or money, but simply that the truths I had learned that enabled me to overcome my 22-year-long eating disorder would now possibly help more people through this book.  I truly am so passionate about sharing this message that I feel God has given me to share.  My purpose is to share it.  It has changed my life and I know it can change others' lives too because it is truth.  Accepting and acting on the truth of who we are not only sets us free, but it also allows us to feel peace and joy right now.  And that's what I want everyone to feel . . . peace and joy right now!

Well, I guess I had some expectations about how people would respond to the book.  My expectations weren't met and I became disappointed and discouraged.  Now don't get me wrong.  I have lots of supporters and wonderful people who have gotten my book and I am so grateful for them, but others have not gotten my book or read my chapter.  I allowed myself to dwell on that negative part.  Instead of focusing on the fact that I was published in a book and my message was getting out there, I dwelt on the fact that people weren't responding to my book like I had expected or wanted them to.  I allowed myself to feel hurt, offended and essentially got really wrapped up in self-pity.

I learned several great lessons through this little test.  I learned that I have to let go of the expectations I place on others.  I cannot control other people.  They have their agency.  So let go and let God, right?  The people that need my message will be led to the book or my blog or me.  God will take care of that.  It is out of my control.  In the end, it was my expectations that hurt me, not what other people did.  I hurt myself by expecting things from others that I could not control.

Another great lesson I learned was that just because other people didn't accept, buy or read my book doesn't mean I'm unacceptable.  Isn't it so sad that we let our worth and value be dependent on how the world sees us?  It really is a crying shame!!!  We are worth so much more than what this world can see!  However, it is true that not everyone will accept us or our purpose.  Let me say two words here . . . Jesus Christ.  He came to this world to share the ultimate saving truths with all who would hear.  Did everyone hear?  Did everyone accept Him or His message?  Ummm.  No.  He was crucified because He never once denied the truth of who He was or the truth of the message He was sent down to earth by His Father to share.  He did what God asked Him to do.  Most of us will not be asked to lay down our lives to be true to who we are and the message we've been asked to share by God, but most of us will be asked to endure rejection, unacceptance, and being unloved.  I had to remember this in order to snap out of my self-pity.  I do know who I am.  I do know that my message is the message God wants me to share.  It has value because it is truth.  How people respond to me or my message doesn't change that.

I also learned how Satan will continue to come at us where we are weak.  My weakness has always been the thoughts of "I'm not good enough.  I'm not loved, approved of, or accepted."  Yes, I have done several write and burns about these thoughts, but as I have said before, Satan will never stop trying to ensnare and deceive us.  He knows our weaknesses and will constantly come at us through those weak points in order to drag us down.  Because I was dwelling on the lofty expectation that everyone was going to want my book, I put my guard down and was not being self-aware or even realistic.  I let some pride creep in.  That provided a perfect open door for Satan to enter and throw some negative thoughts into my mind.  And I chose to believe him.  Because I allowed myself to believe the thoughts of "I'm not good enough" and "I'm not loved or accepted," I found myself feeling depressed and discouraged.  I then stopped writing in my blog because I feared the pain of being rejected and unaccepted even more.  Can you see the thought cycle playing out here?  Do you see what happened when I believed Satan's lies and started to fear?  I completely stopped being true to who I was.  I stopped acting on my passion and purpose and therefore became sad, depressed and discouraged.  Those lies shut me down physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually.  He got to every part of me because I believed just one thought that he threw at me.  And that's how Satan gets us.  He is that tricky.  He is that good at what he does.  And he will do it if we are not aware.

But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts . . . ye must perish.

Mosiah 4:30

Thankfully I have pulled out of this through self-awareness, using my tools, and most importantly, remembering who I really am and what my purpose is.  So I wanted to just expand on this concept of what our purpose is.  Our purpose is also referred to as our reason why, our center, or our work here on earth.  If you remember, the Life Cycle illustrates for us what our reason why does for us.  Here's the Life Cycle again.

The rope on the left side represents our reason why, our purpose.  That rope is what allows us to climb back up to the top.  When we hold on tightly to our reason why, then Satan or the winds and storms of life won't have the power to push us back down.  I had forgotten my purpose for a time because I was too focused on what other people thought of me and my book.  As soon as I regained self-awareness and realized what was going on, I used my tools (the ladder) like the write and burn, my black book and my mirror tool to climb back up.  Then I had to grasp tightly to my purpose, my reason why, to get me back up to the top again.  Knowing your purpose will get you through the hard times, and even the good times.  Don't let good times fool you.  Don't let them stop you from being self-aware, from being humble, meek, teachable and contrite.  Because if you do, you will definitely get slammed with an experience that will cause you to slip and fall and hit hard without those pillows there to catch you.  The pillows are only there to catch you when you're self-aware.  And I learned that once again this past weekend.

Let me say one thing before I go on.  You might be wondering why you should listen to me because I still have low times.  If I really knew what I was talking about then why do I still struggle?  The short answer . . . I am still a mortal human being.  I am not perfect.  I am not whole.  I am still learning and I still have a long way to go.  In fact, the testing and the trials will never stop until I have passed on to the other side and only then will I be made perfect and whole through Christ's grace and mercy if I have done my part.  However, what I do know is that I was living in a very dark abyss and now because of the tools and the truths that I have learned, I am living in the light. I am no longer living years and months at the bottom of my life cycle.  I am not living at the top all of the time either, but I am up on top the majority of the time.  And once again, that is the goal - to live this positive, light-filled, joyous way of life the majority of the time.  None of us will ever be able to stay up top all the time.  That is an impossibility as long as we are mortal human beings living on this earth, but it can definitely be where we are the majority of our lives.  Don't we all want that?  If you want that, then lean on my knowledge and understanding if you have to for a time.  I know what I have shared with you in this blog is truth and it works.  If you want to know for yourself, then act on the principles I have shared with you.  I promise you, your life will be changed for the better.

So back to our topic - how do you find your reason why?  How do you discover your purpose?  It took me awhile to realize mine.  At first I thought knowing your purpose meant you knew exactly what you were going to do with your life.  But I realized that's not the point.  I needed to find out my reason why so that I had direction in my life.  I had been a very indecisive person because I didn't know who I was or what my driving force was.  Where did I want to go?  What did I want to achieve and do?  What were my dreams and desires?  I needed to know what my purpose was so that when opportunities or things came up, I could say, "Do I want to do that?  Is that in line with who I am and what I am meant to do?"  When I discovered my purpose, my life took on a whole new level of meaning.  Knowing my purpose has allowed me to act with purpose.  It allowed me to find meaning and joy in even the mundane tasks of doing dishes, making dinner and folding laundry because part of my purpose was to be the wife and mother God needed me to be.  It allowed me to not be so divided in so many different activities.  I could say "No" and not feel guilty because I recognized there were some things I just couldn't do or I didn't want to do because it didn't fit in to what my purpose and direction was for my life.  I was able to simplify my life and invest my time in the activities that reflected who I was and what my purpose was.  And by doing that, I was able to feel more peace and joy than I have ever felt before!

One of my favorite books is Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill.  Another book I highly suggest reading!  In this book, Napoleon Hill basically interviews the Devil and what is revealed is amazing.  We read that Satan basically gets control over us when we don't think for ourselves, don't have a purpose and a plan to fulfill that purpose.  Are we letting others govern our life for us?  Are we letting life control us?  Not having a purpose means we are just drifting through life.  We let life happen to us instead of causing life to happen for us.  Knowing and acting on our purpose means we are living intentionally.  When we live intentionally with purpose, our dreams and desires for our life become realized.  I love a quote that I can't find and I can't exactly remember word for word.  It says something to the effect of you have the choice to do one of two things in life - work hard to fulfill your own dreams or work hard to fulfill the dreams of others.  Who are you working hard for?  Whose dreams are you fulfilling?  If you do not know what your dreams even are, then guaranteed you are working to fulfill someone else's dreams.

One of the realities of this process is that it is harder to discover our purpose until we have room enough to receive it.  I have seen it in my life and in the lives of others that when we are so filled with the negative, we don't have room to receive the positive truth of who we really are and what we are meant to do.  So the first step in finding your purpose is to continue to let go of the negative.  Use the tools I have given you or the tools you already have to let go of the negative so that you can create room for the positive.   As soon as you start creating that space and at the same time are actively seeking your purpose, inspiration and truth will begin to flood in and little by little, your purpose will become evident to you.  

The next step has to do with God.  Since God is the one that created us and designed our personal plan for us, He is the one that knows our purpose.  He gave it to us.  Remember, God said to Moses:

And I have a work for thee, Moses, my son . . .

Moses 1:6

God said to Jeremiah:

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Jeremiah 1:5

The same is said of prophets of our day and age.

If God said these things to these men, He said it to all of us before we came to earth.  God knew each of us before we were born and He gave each of us a work and purpose to fulfill while we were here.  So pray.  Meditate.  Ask God to help you discover your purpose, or in other words, what work He sent you down here to perform. 

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

For everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Matthew 7:7-8

As we open our hearts and minds to God, His truth will come in.  I have always loved the picture of Christ knocking at a door.

Notice how there is no handle on the outside of the door.  The handle is on the inside which means we are the only ones that can open that door.  God will not force His way in, but He is always standing there waiting for us to open the door and let Him in.

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him. . .

Revelation 3:20

If we want to access the truth of who we are and what our purpose is, then we need to ask the Author of all truth.  Asking God and opening our hearts and minds to Him will allow Him and His truth to enter.  For those of you that are LDS, your patriarchal blessing is an incredible source of truth and knowledge about who you really are.  What a wonderful tool to help you discover your work and purpose here on earth.  Study it.  Attend the temple, attend church, read the scriptures, fulfill your calling, follow the Prophet, etc.  Doing each of these things invites the Spirit and personal revelation.  By being obedient, we are entitled to blessings.  The Lord wants to bless us with every good gift, but He too is bound by law.  Negative and positive cannot occupy the same space.  That is basic science.  That is law.  So let go of the negative and make room for the positive so God's truth can enter.

We then need to be patient and allow the knowledge of what our purpose is to come as it may.  God will give us more as we are ready for it.

For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have.

2 Nephi 2:28

It will take time.  Have faith.

Finally, when we have those "A-ha!" moments of who we are and what our purpose is, we need to do all we can to act on it.  Only then will we reap the reward.  Only then will we not only find incredible peace and joy, but we will be an incredible influence for good in the lives of others.  Everyone's purpose involves helping and serving others.  Our joy essentially comes from the act of sharing who we are and our purpose with others, having a desire to serve and help others.  

One of my favorite all-time movies is Rise of the Guardians.  This movie so beautifully illustrates through characters we all know and love this process of living without purpose, feeling hopeless and without direction, to finding your purpose, acting on it and being filled with light, joy, hope, and peace.  I've embedded some scenes in here so you'll just need to click on the word "here" and it will take you right to the scene in Youtube.  This first scene helps us understand what it means to know our center, or our purpose.  I just love it!  Pay attention to how Santa describes his center to Jack Frost.  Click here to watch.

Isn't that fantastic?  I love how Santa talks about his center.  He talks about being born with this quality of wonder, big eyes that only see the wonder in everything.  I love how he says it is what he puts into the world and what he protects in children.  So there are some ideas of what to look for in yourself.  What attributes and qualities, gifts and talents, passions and desires were you born with?  What beliefs run deep in to your soul?  What do you stand for?  What fills you with joy and excitement when you do it?  What do you bring into this world and what do you strive to protect or inspire in others?

It took Jack Frost awhile to figure out his center, but when he did figure it out, it was a moment of complete enlightenment or an "A-ha!" moment as I like to call it.  In this next clip, you'll see the very moment when Jack realizes what his center is.  Pay particular attention to what happens to the little boy, Jamie, as Jack acts on the truth of who he is, as he becomes one with his center.  Click here to watch.

Powerful huh?  If you haven't seen the movie, go watch it!  It's incredible!  The dark guy, Pitch Black, represents the Boogeyman or Satan or darkness or evil or whatever you want to refer to him as.  So how did Jack dispel and disarm Satan or evil?  He acted on his center!  His center was to have fun!  When he threw that snowball, not only did it distract, shock and surprise Pitch Black from his evil designs, but it also did something to Jamie.  Jamie had said he was scared, but when Jack acted on his truth, it allowed Jamie to let go of his fear.  He laughed which is a huge sign of release and letting go.  Remember the quote by Marianne Williamson?  It fits perfectly with this scene.  Here it is again.

Repeat of Favorite Quote #7:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most...We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson, American author and lecturer

Powerful stuff!  Because Jack Frost let his light shine and let go of his fear, he enabled Jamie to do the same.  And did you see the joy that radiated off of Jack not only when he discovered his center, but even more so when he acted on it?  A little bit later in the show, we see what happens as a result of Jack acting on his center.  It's a total ripple effect.  We see Jamie now empowered to act because he had let go of his fear and discovered his purpose of simply believing.  So pay attention to what happens to everyone else when Jamie acts on his truth instead of fear.  Click here to watch the clip.  

"I do believe in you.  I'm just not afraid of you."  Oh my goodness!  What an incredible declaration of truth and power!  Did you see all that happened when one little boy acted on his truth instead of fear?  Unbelievable!  Everyone was empowered!  Everyone then acts on truth instead of fear!  And they are all laughing and happy while they do it!  The result is that Pitch Black is defeated!!  It's just such a beautiful enactment of what happens when we act on our center, on the truth of who we are.

My friends, I know this true.  It is all truth!!  I have experienced this truth again just this past week.  Don't let Satan or the Boogeyman cause you to fear.  Yes, he is real.  If we deceive ourselves into believing he is not real then we've just provided a way for him and the darkness to enter.  He is never going to stop trying to take us out and crush us through our fear.  Just like Jamie said, we have to believe and know that he is there, be we don't have to fear him.  So do all you can to find your purpose and then don't let anything get in your way of acting on it!  Knowing and acting on your purpose dispels fear.  And when you do that, not only will you change the lives of people around you, but you will be happier than you ever imagined possible!  I know I've said that a billion times but I just can't say it enough!  It is my purpose to declare it!!

Stand up and stand tall!  Be true to who you are!  Act on your center!  Be your own beautiful!  Live your life with purpose, on purpose, according to your purpose!

Just go be YOU or as I like to put it . . .

be.YOU.tiful!!!

Mind is Master and Man is Mind

So how are you?  I am so curious as to how you are doing and in what ways I can help you.  I feel that I have shared with you the core information in relation to how you can create healing and happiness in your life.  So I would love to know what questions you may have that I could possibly answer for you.  At least I will try to answer them to the best of my ability.  Please email me at rachellerchase@yahoo.com or leave a comment at the end of this post.  I will always respond to your comments that contain a question!  Your questions even inspire me to write a post because I know there are others with the same questions and concerns that you have.  You are not alone!  The bottom line is that everyone has trials.  Everyone has struggles, pain, and suffering.  Not a single one of us are exempt from the testing and refining of this mortal life.

I have been mentoring several people lately and it amazes me how similar and yet different our trials and struggles are.  Each person I am mentoring has a different issue they are dealing with and a different way in which they cope with it.  And yet each of their trials are the result of childhood and past experiences that led to certain core beliefs being established in their minds.  I believe that's true for all of us and it was true for me.  I have absolutely loved the moments that I have had with those I mentor where we have been able to uncover those core beliefs.  These beautiful individuals then have "A-ha!" moments where they finally get it!  They can see why and how their beliefs have led them to this place in their lives.  They realize that these beliefs seemed true and real to them, however because they were not based in absolute truth, these beliefs impacted their lives negatively.  They are now letting go of these negative beliefs and the painful past.  They are releasing themselves from their own self-inflicted bondage and are moving forward creating freedom, joy, peace, fulfillment, and contentment in their lives.  It absolutely thrills and excites me to help these amazing people along their journey of living the life they have always wanted and dreamed of!  

Over the summer, I did a lot of reading.  I love reading!  Escape novels are great.  I love teen fiction, but I also greatly love philosophy books that get me to think.  This summer I found myself diving into the works of James Allen.  What an amazing poet and author!  His works are filled with wisdom and insights into the power of the human mind.  And I know what he writes is truth!  It has been confirmed to me by the Spirit of Truth!  His most commonly known book is As A Man Thinketh.  I could literally quote the whole book here because it is so good and so applicable to what I have been talking about in this blog.  I strongly encourage you to take the time to go read it.  It is incredibly enlightening and empowering!  Here are some tidbits.

Mind is the Master power that moulds and makes,

And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes

The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills,

Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills:

He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:

Environment is but his looking-glass.

A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.

Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace.  By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descends below the level of the beast.  Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master.

Only by much searching and mining are gold and diamonds obtained, and man can find every truth connected with his being if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul; and that he is the maker of his character, the molder of his life, and the builder of his destiny, he may unerringly prove, if he will watch, control, and alter his thoughts, tracing their effects upon himself, upon others, and upon his life and circumstances, linking cause and effect by patient practice and investigation, and utilizing his every experience, even to the most trivial, everyday occurrence, as a means of obtaining that knowledge of himself which is Understanding, Wisdom, Power.

Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.

The world is your kaleidoscope, and the varying combinations of colours, which at every succeeding moment it presents to you are the exquisitely adjusted pictures of your ever-moving thoughts.

So you will be, what you "will" to be.

All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.  A man's weakness and strength, purity and impurity, are his own, and not another man's; they are brought about by himself, and not by another; and they can only be altered by himself, never by another.  His condition is also his own, and not another man's.  His suffering and his happiness are evolved from within.  As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.

Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results.  Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction.  It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being.  The circumstances which a man encounters with suffering are the result of his own mental inharmony.  The circumstances which a man encounters with blessedness are the result of his own mental harmony.  Blessedness, not material possessions, is the measure of right thought; wretchedness, not lack of material possessions, is the measure of wrong thought.

Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life.  Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance.

The body is the servant of the mind.  It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed.  At the bidding of the unlawful thoughts the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.  

Disease and health, like circumstances, are rooted in thought.  Men will continue to have impure and poisoned blood so long as they propagate unclean thoughts.  Out of a clean heart comes a clean life and a clean body.  Out of a defiled mind proceeds a defiled life and a corrupt body.  Thought is the font of action, life and manifestation; make the fountain pure, and all will be pure.

Change of diet will not help a man who will not change his thoughts.  When a man makes his thoughts pure, he no longer desires impure food.  Clean thoughts make clean habits.  If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.  If you would renew your body, beautify your mind.

Listen, and let my words burn themselves into your heart, for that which I say to you is truth: -- You may bring about that improved condition in your outward life which you desire, if you will unswervingly resolve to improve your inner life.  I know this pathway looks barren at its commencement (truth always does, it is only error and delusion which are at first inviting and fascinating) but if you undertake to walk it; if you perseveringly discipline your mind, eradicating your weaknesses, and allowing your soul-forces and spiritual powers to unfold themselves, you will be astonished at the magical changes which will be brought about in your outward life.  As you proceed, golden opportunities will be strewn across your path, and the power and judgment to properly utilize them will spring up within you.  Genial friends will come unbidden to you; sympathetic souls will be drawn to you as the needle is to the magnet; and books and all outward aids that you require will come to you unsought.

Ok its me again.  Aren't those amazing words from a man who obviously got it?  He knew HOW to do this thing called life.  He knew how to be happy, serene and successful.  The answer lies within the mind.  Each one of us need only to look within our mind to uncover the weapons of our suffering and the tools for our success.

That last paragraph I just quoted means a lot to me because it is exactly what I have experienced.  Starting off on this path was not easy.  It required a lot of soul-searching and heart-rending moments.  Many tears fell from my eyes, but I would shed all those tears over and over again to be where I am now.  I love this quote I found the other day-

Favorite Quote #61:

Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.

It was absolutely the bravest thing I have ever done to travel this road, but the result has made it all worth it!  As I have allowed myself to walk the walk of digging into my thoughts and my inner life, "magical changes" have occurred and "golden opportunities" have been laid at my feet and all along my path.  People, resources, books and aids have literally come to me "as the needle is to the magnet".  I did not go out seeking them.  They were drawn to me because I changed my inner life and thus became that magnet.  One such amazing opportunity has come to fruition this week.  I have had the privilege of being associated with a man by the name of Woody Woodward who is an accomplished mentor, author and film-maker.  Earlier this year, he put together a group of people who had achieved some measure of success in their lives.  I was honored to be one of those people.  He conducted an interview with each one of us asking questions applicable to our success stories and then created a book from those interviews wherein we each had a chapter.  It has been an awesome experience and I get to pick up the finished, printed, and copied book this week!  It is entitled Achieve - Conversations with Top Achievers.  Here it is:

I am so absolutely thrilled, excited, amazed and grateful that I have had this opportunity!  Yes, I have just a chapter in the book, but I am overjoyed!  I have always wanted to write a book and this gets my foot in that door.  Jack Canfield, the author of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books, was even willing to contribute a chapter to our book!  So exciting and I feel so blessed!  This opportunity literally fell in my lap.  I did not go out seeking it.  Like James Allen said, it was "strewn across [my] path".  When we change our minds, we change our lives.  When we become positive inwardly, our whole world becomes positive outwardly!

I will be receiving several copies of this book this week that I can turn around and sell to all of my wonderful family, friends and you awesome readers out there.  I will be selling it at a discounted price from what you can get it for at Barnes & Noble or Amazon.  Let me know if you are interested in a copy and I can work that out with you.

So I am living proof that all the quotes I just shared with you from James Allen are true!  We are what we think!  Our world is but a reflection of what we believe!  I lived a life thinking negatively and that's what my world became.  As I have let go of the negative, replacing it with positive, my life has been filled with glorious opportunities and experiences beyond anything I ever imagined.  My dreams are coming true and I am so very happy, fulfilled, content and at peace!  My greatest desire is for all of you to have and feel this too!  So resolve to do the work!  Commit to creating your own peace and happiness by going inside!  You are the creator and shaper of your life and your destiny!  I want to leave you with one more poem from James Allen.

Would you scale the highest heaven,

Would you pierce the lowest hell,--

Live in dreams of constant beauty, 

Or in basest thinkings dwell.

For your thoughts are heaven above you, 

And your thoughts are hell below; 

Bliss is not, except in thinking,

Torment naught but thought can know.

Worlds would vanish but for thinking;

Glory is not but in dreams;

And the Drama of the ages

From the Thought Eternal streams.

Dignity and shame and sorrow,

Pain and anguish, love and hate

Are but maskings of the mighty

Pulsing Thought that governs Fate.

As the colours of the rainbow

Make the one uncoloured beam,

So the universal changes

Make the One Eternal Dream.

And the Dream is all within you,

And the Dreamer waiteth long

For the Morning to awake him

To the living thought and strong

That shall make the ideal real,

Make to vanish dreams of hell

In the highest, holiest heaven

Where the pure and perfect dwell.

Evil is the thought that thinks it;

Good, the thought that makes it so;

Light and darkness, sin and pureness

Likewise out of thinking grow.

Dwell in thought upon the Grandest,

And the Grandest you shall see;

Fix your mind upon the Highest,

And the Highest you shall be.  

So who are you?  Who do you want to be?  What do you want to do?  Do you want a better life than what you have now?  Well, guess what?  The power to do that lies within you!  The power to be who you want to be and achieve what you want to achieve has always resided within the thoughts of your own mind!  Look inside to find your true self because its waiting there to be discovered by the only one that can reveal it . . . YOU!  Then go be your highest self by believing in your highest self!  You are the seed of Deity!  You are powerful and beautiful because God made you!  Embrace who you truly are and you will be happier than you ever imagined!  Love your truth!  Live your truth!  Just go . . .

be.YOU.tiful!!!

   

Special Life Lessons Learned

Wow!  What a summer it has been!  I hope you all had a wonderful summer!

School is back in session!  For me, there is always mixed emotions getting back into school.  It's bitter sweet to say goodbye to the kids and it's bitter sweet to start routines and schedules again.  I have also decided the first week of school ranks right up there with Christmas as one of the most stressful times of the year.  Last week was exceptionally stressful and emotional in our home as all 4 of my daughters started new schools.  I was so overwhelmed because they were so overwhelmed!  I am hoping this next week brings a little more peace and calm as they get used to their new schools, new teachers and new friends.  Heaven help us!!

It's so good to be blogging again!  I have missed writing because it always fills me with so much joy.  I just love it!  It is part of who I am and part of my purpose.

I learned many valuable lessons this summer, one of which I wanted to share with you today.  It is about my sweet little nephew, Paxton Norton.

Paxton passed away on July 17th after contracting a quickly spreading illness that went from his lungs, to his bronchial tubes, to his blood at which point his blood became septic.  When the blood is septic, its basically poisoned and there is nothing much left the doctors can do.  He died in his parents' arms surrounded by his 2 brothers and grandparents 4 days after his 3rd birthday.

Little Paxton had a very rare chromosomal deletion on his 7th chromosome that my sister knew about before she even gave birth to him.  She knew there would be many complications with her little boy, but wasn't sure exactly what they would be because there were no reported cases in history just like Paxton's.  He was one of a kind in more ways than one.  When he was born, he had glaucoma in his eyes, hearing problems, and a cleft pallet.  He had a narrowed airway that necessitated in a tracheotomy for breathing and a g-tube for getting food into his tummy.  His voice box was not in the right place thus my sister never heard him cry or laugh or talk.  He had two holes in his heart, pulmonary hypertension (problem with his lungs), enlarged kidneys and ventricles and probably many more issues that I wasn't even fully aware of.  Paxton had 34 surgeries during his short life.  He required 24-hour care.  Thankfully his parents got nursing help during the night time so they could sleep, but my sister cared for him during the day, every day.  Paxton and my sister Shannon are truly my heros.

But all of this difficulty did not define this little boy or his life.  He was so much more and he did so much more!  Despite all the surgeries, the physical pain and the discomfort he felt so often, he lived in the moment, treasuring his family and friends and the world God gave him to enjoy.  He embraced every moment of his life.  My sister is a photographer and took several photographs of little Paxton relishing life.  There is one of him basking in the wind as it blew on his face and through his soft, downy hair.  There is one of him reveling in the feel of the grass on his palms.  There is another of him absolutely delighted as he watched the sunset, marveling in the beauty, the light and the colors.  My favorite pictures of Paxton are of him reaching up to touch his mom's, dad's or brothers' faces, memorizing every curve and bend of the faces of those he loved most and connecting with their souls.

We believe that Paxton signed up for a 3 year mission.  He long overstayed his needed proving time here on earth, but he stayed because he loved his family and God's beautiful world and . . . because we needed him.  We needed his example to teach us not just how to live, but how to live well, live fully, and live happily.  We needed the light and joy that he brought to us simply by smiling.  His smile was contagious and it will forever be written on my heart.

One of the greatest lessons Paxton taught me was to always look up and look towards the light.  Paxton always did this.  My sister said that every morning when she would get him out of bed, he would have to turn to look towards the sunlight streaming through the window blinds.  He loved looking towards the light.  He always looked up too and his sweet hand would follow his gaze as he reached up.  My sister had a video monitor in Paxton's room so that she could always keep an eye on him if she had to step out of the room.  One of her favorite pictures of Paxton was when he was laying on his floor in his room all by himself.  She caught a moment on the video where he was reaching up and looking up with a huge smile on his face.  She believes he was seeing his guardian, ministering angels who watched over him.  Shannon called these his "friends" because she knew that Paxton saw them, loved them and knew who they were even though she didn't.  Paxton had angels watching over him, but for us, Paxton was our angel.  He was sent here to teach us precious, special lessons about life.  Now he gets to be our angel in heaven.  Shannon said at his funeral, "You were our perfectly imperfect angel, and now you are our perfectly perfect angel."

Do you see why this little boy was so special?  Do you grasp the invaluable life lessons that we can learn from one so small?  I imagine Paxton would tell us something like this . . .

"Embrace life.  Live in the moment.  Enjoy God's beautiful world that He created for you, for your joy and happiness.  Treasure every moment with those that you love.  Don't take any time you have with them for granted because life is so fragile and can be taken from you at any moment.  Be and do all that you were created to be and do.  Don't waste any time worrying about what the world thinks.  You are not on earth to live for the world's purposes.  You are on earth to live for God's purposes.  So trust in Him.  Believe in Him.  Love Him because He loves you more than you know.  Go to Him and He will help you uncover the truth of who you are.  He knows the truth because He created it and He created you.  Then go live that truth with passion and purpose.  That is how you will find your joy.  And even when life seems harder than you can bear, never give up.  Look up.  Reach up.  Turn towards the Source of all light, even God, in order to not only find the strength to endure this life, but to endure it well.  Most importantly, be grateful to God for the life you do have and . . . SMILE!"

May we all learn from Paxton how we can better live and love life no matter what difficulties and trials, weaknesses and faults we may have.

I believe Paxton's life very much epitomizes what I am trying to teach on this blog in the word "be.YOU.tiful".  Paxton was an absolutely beautiful soul because he lived according to the truth of who he was . . . and he was happy!  He remained untouched by the world despite the difficulties he faced due to his frail frame.  He let his light shine brightly for the world to see touching thousands of lives.  Although he couldn't move and he couldn't speak, as a close family friend put it, "Seldom has the life of one child blessed the lives of so many in such a brief period of time."  We all have the opportunity, the ability and the responsibility to live as Paxton lived.  In the words of the scriptures:

Ye are the light of the world. . . .  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in Heaven.

Matthew 5:14, 16

...that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

John 9:3

So go be like Paxton by being your beautiful, true, authentic, unique self!  Let your light shine so the works of God may be made manifest through you!  In other words . . .

be.YOU.tiful!!!

P.S.  If you would like to learn more about Paxton, you can Google Paxton Norton and many news clips and articles will pop up.  One of my personal favorites is the talk my father, Elder Ronald A. Rasband, gave about little Paxton in the April 2012 LDS General Conference entitled "Special Lessons".  Click here to go directly to it.  You can also check out my sister's blog by clicking here.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall . . .

I feel time is way overdue to share with you a tool that instead of letting go of the negative helps us to embrace the positive.  And yes, it has to do with the mirror.  That dreaded mirror that so many of us have the hardest time looking into without negative thoughts wreaking havoc in our minds.  But what we don't realize is that the mirror can be a tool of great power and positivity in our lives if we will let it.  It can be our closest friend and advocate, reminding us of who we REALLY are.  

I have had an experience lately that has taught me about the importance of living true to who I am and what my purpose is.  This experience has also taught me that it is so easy to get sidetracked by the noise and distractions of the world to a point that we forget who we really are.  It has taught me of the need I have on a daily basis to remind myself of the most important thing - to be who I truly am regardless of what the world may think or say.  And by doing that, I will be happy.

Summer has been a bit hard for me as life has slowed down in some ways and sped up in other ways.  I have felt a little lost physically, mentally, and emotionally by the change in my schedule and routine.  Unfortunately, change has the power to do that to us if we are not prepared for it.  I suppose I wasn't prepared and even though I have been through this healing process, I am still not immune to falling.  I started to become concerned again with what people thought of me.  I felt the need to gain their approval and acceptance not just in how I looked, but also in what I did and in who I was.  These beliefs caused me to become discouraged and depressed.  I reverted to my previous coping behaviors in order to escape these negative feelings I was having.  I struggled pinpointing exactly what was causing these negative feelings and behaviors to surface, until a couple days ago.  I did a write and burn and it all came out, including the tears.  I had let myself believe that if I wasn't good enough for certain people, then why keep trying.  So I stopped caring about trying and like I said in my last post, when I stop caring, things tend to quickly go downhill for me, and I fall.

After burning the paper, I felt a huge weight lifted.  I realized that it doesn't matter what these imperfect mortals think of me because they don't know who I really am.  They don't know my intentions or see my heart.  The most important thing I realized is that the people who truly know me, who know my heart, my weaknesses and my strengths, my flaws and my talents, my purpose and potential are the same beings who are absolutely perfect.  They believe I can accomplish my purpose in this life even if I may make lots of mistakes along the way.  And even with all those mistakes, they love me unconditionally. They are my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ.  And guaranteed I have a Heavenly Mother up there too who believes in me just as much.  They are perfect and yet they accept and approve of me more than anyone else.  So why am I wasting my time trying to be approved of and accepted by imperfect mortal people?  Why am I so concerned about what this world thinks of me when supreme, divine, heavenly beings think I am pretty special?  As I remembered the love and acceptance I have from my perfect heavenly parents and my elder brother, Jesus Christ, I gained the power and confidence to go forward, being true to who I really am and true to the divine purpose I was given by my Heavenly Father long before my mortal life even began.

This is true for all of us my friends!  This is who we all are!  Divine children of God who gave us a mission and a purpose to fulfill during our mortal lifetimes unlike anyone else's.  And because we are each so different and unique in who we are and in our purpose, we each have a responsibility to shine!  God needs each one of us through our own powerful, unique, beautiful talents, gifts and purposes to make a difference in this world for good, to shed light on the darkness.  We will each shine in different ways and in different colors, but no matter how we shine, our light will give warmth and color to a world where Satan is trying to make everything black, cold, hopeless and lightless.

I have shared my love of the analogy of us to a diamond in a previous post.  I found this picture the other day which I feel completely tells the story of what we, as God's precious gems, His diamonds, can do with His light that is within us.

Isn't that beautiful!!  This is what we have the power to do!!

GOD'S LIGHT + BEING THE BRILLIANT, RADIANT, UNIQUE DIAMOND WE TRULY ARE = HAPPINESS AND A POWERFUL RAINBOW OF LIGHT THAT SHINES OUTWARD INFLUENCING ALL AROUND US!!

It's true my friends!!!  I know this because I am living it!

Let's not let the mud and stains of the world cover up and bury the beautiful diamond that we are!  Let's not let Satan darken and dim the bright light we were born with!  Let's not let negative beliefs about ourselves cause us to hide how brilliant and radiant we really are!  By reminding ourselves on a daily basis of who we truly are - our gifts, talents, our purpose and the desires of our heart - we can go forward in our day not only sharing our light with others, but also being happy!  That is how it works!

This mirror tool I want to share with you is a way to remind yourself that you are powerful, special, beautiful and unique just the way you are. That you have a peculiar, brilliant light that is meant to touch, warm and inspire those within your sphere of influence.

So stand up straight facing the mirror with your shoulders back and your hands down at your side.  Look at yourself in the mirror, right eye to right eye, for 2 minutes.  Remember, the eyes are the window to the soul.  So look into your soul.  Don't just focus on the physical because you are not your body.  You are your spirit!  Look into your beautiful soul.  Allow it to be seen.  Who are you really? What does your spirit look like?  Try to remain as physically still and as mentally positive as possible.  Pay attention to how your body may fidget or move.  Do you look away?  Pay attention to what thoughts come into your head.  What are you feeling?  Take time to address those thoughts and feelings that come up.  Why did you fidget or look away?  Why did you feel that way?  The end goal of this exercise is to be able to fill those 2 minutes not only thinking positive thoughts about yourself without looking away or fidgeting, but to also express out loud with power and conviction in your voice, the truth of who you really are, acknowledging your strengths, gifts and talents, and declaring your purpose in life.

Now I'll be the first one to admit that this was very hard for me in the beginning.  I struggled looking at myself.  I berated myself mentally thinking many negative thoughts.  I had a hard time being still physically and not looking away.  Over time, I moved from thinking negative thoughts to just being quiet in my mind and being still physically.  That stillness in my mind and body allowed me to begin thinking positive thoughts.  I had let go of the negative thus making space for the positive.  Then I started to whisper those positive thoughts out loud.  Today, I speak with boldness and power as I declare the truths about myself.  Tears always fill my eyes as I remind myself in the mirror of who I really am and what God sent me here to do.  It is such a powerful tool!  My body and spirit crave it now, especially on those days that I may be struggling.  I use this tool to lift my spirits and climb that ladder back up to the top of my life cycle.

This tool can also serve as a wonderful gauge to how you are progressing and healing.  As you start to see how you react differently when you look in the mirror for those 2 minutes, you see how far you've come, where you're at, and where you still want to go.  I have a gal that I am mentoring who has seen her progress through the use of this tool.  In the beginning, she couldn't even stand to look at herself for 15 seconds!  While she is still progressing, it has become something she can do and something she appreciates as it reminds her of who she really is as defined by her creator, God.

So don't let this tool get you frustrated.  Be patient with it and don't give up on it.  Continue pressing forward on your journey.  Continue to be aware.  Continue using the tools you have learned that will enable you to get back on top of your life cycle quicker.  And continue to remind yourself of who you really are, what your unique gifts, talents and strengths are, and why God needs you on this earth at this time, shining your light out into the world and overpowering the darkness.

Repeat of Favorite Quote #7:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most...We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson, American author and lecturer

Favorite Scripture #13:

Let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

3 Nephi 12:16

We were born to shine!  We were born to "make manifest the glory of God that is within us"!  It is not prideful to acknowledge, embrace, love, and be who we truly are!  It is what we were meant to do!  We were meant to let our light shine so that we can be a tool in God's hand to bring others back to Him.  We were meant to shine in order to empower and inspire others to shine too!  But the really cool thing about this is that when we embrace and act on the truth of who we are, when we let our light shine, we feel greater joy and peace in our lives beyond what any other worldly pursuit could offer us.  It's a win-win-win situation for God, us and all those within our influence!  You are a powerful, brilliant, radiant, sparkling diamond!  So embrace it!  Be true to it!  Look in that mirror and learn to love what you see in your beautiful soul!

Before you leave, click on this link to hear the song "Beautiful For Me" by Nicole Nordeman.  And realize it's about you!

Then go . . .

be.YOU.tiful!!!

Tool Four - The Life Cycle

So I'm thinking because it is summertime, I may have a harder time getting posts up on a regular basis.  I will continue to post when I can, but with kids around all the time and vacations, it might be less frequent for the next while.  But I still have things I want to share so I'll be back!  I also want to know what your questions and concerns are.  So please comment or email because I would like to use my blog to help answer your questions.  Guaranteed others are struggling the same way you are so when you speak up you don't just help yourself, you help others as well.  Let me know if there is anything I can help you with!

Another fabulous tool that I have used to help me be self-aware is called the Life Cycle.  We each experience this cycle in our own way.  By becoming aware of what our cycle looks like and means for us, we enable ourselves to quickly move from our lowest point to feeling on top of the world again. This is the Life Cycle:

So let me describe it to you.  We start at the top feeling on top of the world.  Life is good.  We feel happy, complete and peaceful.  Then something happens to us or we believe a certain negative thought about ourselves and we start to slip.  As I have paid attention to my life cycle, I have realized I slip when I start thinking "I don't care."  Whether it's I don't care about what I eat, about getting myself ready in the morning, about exercising, or whatever it may be, not caring causes me to slip down that slippery slope.  I have realized that I NEED to care and I NEED to do the things that make me feel good physically or else my mental, emotional and spiritual state is adversely affected.  Because of this tool, I now know that if I allow myself to not care, Satan sneaks in and drags me down.  And that is why the word "aware" is there off to the right.  If we aren't aware of what our thought and belief patterns are that cause us to slip, then we won't have the power to change them or the results we get from them.

So the first question mark represents the reasons, thoughts, or behaviors that cause you to slip.  What triggers the slip for you?  What are the thoughts and beliefs that cause you to start falling from a state of peace and joy?

The fall can be frustrating and often causes us to feel alone, sad and anxious.  Nobody wants to fall from a place of peace and joy, but because we are human, we WILL fall time and time again.  When my mentor described this cycle to me, he had me draw myself falling.  Guess how I drew myself?  I drew myself falling head first into a slab of cement.  Without consciously recognizing it, my drawing alluded to the fact that my falls were extremely hard and painful, completely knocking me out and rendering me unable both physically and emotionally to move on.  But why were my falls so painful?  It was because I had deceived myself into believing that I could be perfect and never fall.  I was unaware of the thoughts and beliefs which caused me to slip, thus I was completely unprepared for my impending fall and hard landing.  Those falls slammed me.  I would spend months, even years, down at that lowest point, in my pit of despair, because I had been so deeply hurt.  I didn't want to get back up just so I could feel all that pain again.  I became depressed, discouraged, and apathetic.  I died inside, going numb emotionally because feeling at all was just too hard.

There are three different types of people - the dabblers, the stressors, and the masters.  The dabblers are the ones that after some forward progress and healing, they hit a plateau or a hard point and then they give up and quit.  They see the plateau or hard point as failure.  They expect perfection and when things aren't perfect, they give up trying.  Everything is black or white.  When they aren't succeeding, they are failing and when they fail, there's no point in continuing on.  This was what I was.  I would fall, land hard and stay down, depressed and discouraged, because if I couldn't be perfect then why try.  

The stressors reach that plateau or that hard point and say, "There is no way I'm going to fall!  I will not fail!"  Because they are not aware of the slip coming, when it comes they panic, stress and fight it in order to get back to the top.  It's like they are going down a slide, but before they reach the bottom, they turn around and try to climb back up the slide even though they have mittens on their hands and socks on their feet.  This may postpone their landing, but it doesn't prevent it.  Eventually they do fall, but because they are a stressor, they push through, using force and anger to claw their way back up to the top.  They may reach the top again, but they leave a wake of destruction behind them.  They create a huge mess, particularly with those they love, as they fight the natural cycle in order to be on top.  Both the dabblers and the stressors are reactive to difficult situations.

The master spends as much time up top as possible while always expecting the slip to come.  They recognize their imperfect, mortal nature, thus they are not deceived into believing they will never fall.  Their awareness allows them to see the slip coming.  Their fearlessness allows them to calmly let the fall happen.  Their preparedness makes the fall far less painful to endure.  For the master, little time is spent down at that lowest point because they immediately do something to climb back out.  The master is proactive, expecting and preparing for future difficult situations.

Self-mastery doesn't mean we are strong enough or have enough self-control to keep ourselves from falling.  It means we understand our natural man condition rather than beating ourselves up for it.  It means we let go of any expectations or attachments to an ideal of perfection.

Favorite Quote #60:

A warrior is not about perfection or victory or invulnerability.  He is about absolute vulnerability.  That's the only true courage.

Peaceful Warrior

Absolute vulnerability and therefore true courage comes when we expect the fall and then allow it to happen.  When we are a peaceful warrior, a master, we remain self-aware and ever watchful, thus able to prepare for the slip and the imminent fall that follows.  Once we have started to slip, the fall is inevitable.  We recognize that our choice is not in whether or not we fall, but in how painful and difficult it is going to be.  We provide for ourselves a soft landing in order to lessen the pain.  I imagined my soft landing to be one of those gymnastic pits full of foam blocks.  Here it is pictured as a couple of pillows.  Landing in a bunch of foam blocks or on some pillows doesn't hurt or knock us senseless, so we are able to pick ourselves up quicker and easier.  Due to all of this, we no longer need fear the fall.  We expect it, anticipate it, and watch for it.  Falling is not failure.  It is an opportunity to be strengthened, to learn, improve, and progress.  It is a stepping stone toward success.

A peaceful warrior.  A master.  That's what we want to be.  Being a warrior or a master means we understand the ebb and flow of life, the yin and yang.  We let life flow through the good times and the hard times.  We "let go and let God" (Wayne Dyer).

So what is your soft landing?  What do you envision it to be?  Are you a dabbler, a stressor, or a master?  If you want to be a master, then are you willing to accept your fall and allow it to happen?  Because if you do, this life cycle can take you 7 minutes to get through instead of 7 months.  I've done it and it's amazing!

After we have fallen, we have a choice.  It's completely up to us how long we are going to stay at that lowest point.  We can wallow in self-pity and mourn the loss of our happy and peaceful state, or we can do something to get back to it.  I have spoken about this before when I talked about living in the moment.  We can waste our valuable, precious time by living in the past, dwelling on how good it was, or we can use that time to live in the moment and change where we are now to get back to where we want to be.  I know that is putting it bluntly and believe me I am talking about myself because I did a lot of wallowing and time-wasting.  The only way to get out from our pit of despair is to act.  So how?  How do we climb out?  If we look to the example of the master, they acknowledge they have fallen without guilt and shame.  They realize falling is part of their human condition.  They then identify which tool they need from within their emotional tool belt that will enable them to climb out of their pit of despair . . . and then they use it.  They act on truth.

So what are your tools?  What helps you to climb out of your lowest point?  The Write and Burn?  The Little Black Book?  Prayer?  Meditation?  Scripture study?  Music?  Positive affirmations?  By identifying the tool you need in that moment, you provide for yourself the needed help to quickly make your way back up to the top.  This act of climbing back up creates feelings of hope, desire and courage.  You're working and acting on the positive to combat the negative, so naturally you are going to get positive back.

After climbing, we then come to the last slope leading to the top.  This is still a slippery slope.  There is also great opposition at this point as represented by the wind off to the left.  If you think about Satan, when does he tend to attack the hardest and strongest?  Just before a positive, good thing is going to happen, right?  So we still need help reaching the top.  The help comes through the rope.  When we hold onto it and follow it, it leads us back to the top.  Our rope is our reason why, our purpose.  It is our belief in why we are here, our reason for living.  It gives meaning to all we do in life.  It breeds passion and provides direction.  It gives us the inspiration to keep going, the determination to do whatever it takes to get back on top.

So what is your rope?  What is your reason why?  What is the wind that blows hard against you trying to thwart your efforts to get back up to the top?  What are Satan's tactics that create resistance on your forward, upward progress?

Your homework is to find the answers to all of these questions.  And remember, the answers can only come from inside of you.

Repeat of Favorite Quote #34:

Everyone tells you what to do and what's good for you.  They don't want you to find your own answers.  They want you to believe theirs.  I want you to stop gathering information from outside yourself and start getting it from the inside.  People are afraid of what's inside.  And that's the only place they're ever going to find what they need.

Peaceful Warrior

So take some time to figure out your life cycle.  Dig a little in order to discover what each part of the cycle means for you.  When you are aware of what your life cycle looks like, then Satan can no longer catch you unaware.  Negativity can no longer come through a back door or a side door.  It can only come through the front door and when that happens, you will be waiting for it, fully ready and prepared to defeat it.

One of my favorite chapters in the Book of Mormon illustrates this.  It is Alma 49.  The city of Ammonihah had been defeated in the past by the Lamanites, the bad guys.  ;)  Moroni, the leader of the Nephites (the good guys), commands the Nephites to build up the fortifications around the city of Ammonihah in preparation for another attack by the Lamanites.  Here is what the Nephites did to their city:

Behold, I said that the city of Ammonihah had been rebuilt.  I say unto you, yea, that it was in part rebuilt; and because the Lamanites had destroyed it once because of the iniquity of the people, they supposed that it would again become an easy prey for them.

But behold, how great was their disappointment; for behold, the Nephites had dug up a ridge of earth round about them, which was so high that the Lamanites could not cast their stones and their arrows at them that they might take effect, neither could they come upon them save it was by their place of entrance.

Alma 49: 3-4

The Lamanites had to attack through the front door.  Well, this is what the Lamanites' reaction was to what they saw at Ammonihah:

Now at this time the chief captains of the Lamanites were astonished exceedingly, because of the wisdom of the Nephites in preparing their places of security.  

Now the leaders of the Lamanites had supposed, because of the greatness of their numbers, yea, they supposed that they should be privileged to come upon them as they had hitherto done; yea, and they had also prepared themselves with shields, and with breastplates; and they had also prepared themselves with garments of skins, yea, very thick garments to cover their nakedness.

And being thus prepared they supposed that they should easily overpower and subject their brethren to the yoke of bondage, or slay and massacre them according to their pleasure.

But behold, to their uttermost astonishment, they [the Nephites] were prepared for them, in a manner which never had been known among the children of Lehi.

Alma 49: 5-8

The captains of the Lamanites feared the preparations the Nephites had made to the city of Ammonihah so much that they retreated and did not attack.  They then made their way to another city of the Nephites called Noah, thinking they could overcome that city and taking an oath that they would destroy it.  But Moroni had done the same thing at Noah as he had done at Ammonihah, in fact Noah had been fortified and rebuilt even greater and stronger.  So despite their fear and due to the oath they had made, the Lamanite captains led their army in an attack against Noah.  This is what happened:

Now behold, the Lamanites could not get into their forts of security by any other way save by the entrance, because of the highness of the bank which had been thrown up, and the depth of the ditch which had been dug round about, save it were by the entrance.

And thus were the Nephites prepared to destroy all such as should attempt to climb up to enter the fort by any other way, by casting over stones and arrows at them.

Thus they were prepared, yea, a body of their strongest men, with their swords and their slings, to smite down all who should attempt to come into their place of security by the place of entrance; and thus were they prepared to defend themselves against the Lamanites.

And it came to pass that the captains of the Lamanites brought up their armies before the place of entrance, and began to contend with the Nephites, to get into their place of security; but behold, they were driven back from time to time, insomuch that they were slain with an immense slaughter.

Alma 49: 18-21

Holy cow!  Do you get that?  Do you see how that applies to us?  When we are aware of our life cycle, we are able to prepare ourselves for the attacks of Satan.  Satan is victorious due to his tactic of surprise.  His surprise attacks defeat us most every time.  But we disarm him when we take that element of surprise away, when we prevent him from attacking us at any other place but through the front door.  When we fortify ourselves in this way, we will always be able to see him coming.  We will then have the power to catch him and defeat him by stopping any tactic or device he uses to destroy us.  Powerful stuff!!

The story concludes with this verse:

Thus the Nephites had all power over their enemies; and thus the Lamanites did attempt to destroy the Nephites until their chief captains were all slain; yea, and more than a thousand of the Lamanites were slain; while, on the other hand, there was not a single soul of the Nephites which were slain.

Alma 49: 23

All power over their enemies!  And not a single soul of the Nephites were slain!  Isn't that what we all want?  The power to defeat all our enemies and not be slain?  Absolutely!  And this is how we do it!  So please take the time to become aware and prepare yourselves.  Because . . .

If ye are prepared ye shall not fear.

D&C 38: 30

We have nothing to fear when we are prepared.

I know this is possible.  I have been able to defeat Satan in my own life because I became aware of how he took me down, I prepared for it, then I expected it and remained ever watchful for when he came attacking.  Knowledge is power!  By gaining this knowledge, we gain power to defeat all the forces of evil and negativity that try to destroy us.  

May you take the time to empower yourselves, to be aware and prepare by building up your fortifications so that your enemies can only come in through the front door . . . and by doing that, their defeat is guaranteed.

As it is said in Star Wars, "May the force be with you!"  Go be powerful and . . . 

be.YOU.tiful!!!