Special Life Lessons Learned

Wow!  What a summer it has been!  I hope you all had a wonderful summer!

School is back in session!  For me, there is always mixed emotions getting back into school.  It's bitter sweet to say goodbye to the kids and it's bitter sweet to start routines and schedules again.  I have also decided the first week of school ranks right up there with Christmas as one of the most stressful times of the year.  Last week was exceptionally stressful and emotional in our home as all 4 of my daughters started new schools.  I was so overwhelmed because they were so overwhelmed!  I am hoping this next week brings a little more peace and calm as they get used to their new schools, new teachers and new friends.  Heaven help us!!

It's so good to be blogging again!  I have missed writing because it always fills me with so much joy.  I just love it!  It is part of who I am and part of my purpose.

I learned many valuable lessons this summer, one of which I wanted to share with you today.  It is about my sweet little nephew, Paxton Norton.

Paxton passed away on July 17th after contracting a quickly spreading illness that went from his lungs, to his bronchial tubes, to his blood at which point his blood became septic.  When the blood is septic, its basically poisoned and there is nothing much left the doctors can do.  He died in his parents' arms surrounded by his 2 brothers and grandparents 4 days after his 3rd birthday.

Little Paxton had a very rare chromosomal deletion on his 7th chromosome that my sister knew about before she even gave birth to him.  She knew there would be many complications with her little boy, but wasn't sure exactly what they would be because there were no reported cases in history just like Paxton's.  He was one of a kind in more ways than one.  When he was born, he had glaucoma in his eyes, hearing problems, and a cleft pallet.  He had a narrowed airway that necessitated in a tracheotomy for breathing and a g-tube for getting food into his tummy.  His voice box was not in the right place thus my sister never heard him cry or laugh or talk.  He had two holes in his heart, pulmonary hypertension (problem with his lungs), enlarged kidneys and ventricles and probably many more issues that I wasn't even fully aware of.  Paxton had 34 surgeries during his short life.  He required 24-hour care.  Thankfully his parents got nursing help during the night time so they could sleep, but my sister cared for him during the day, every day.  Paxton and my sister Shannon are truly my heros.

But all of this difficulty did not define this little boy or his life.  He was so much more and he did so much more!  Despite all the surgeries, the physical pain and the discomfort he felt so often, he lived in the moment, treasuring his family and friends and the world God gave him to enjoy.  He embraced every moment of his life.  My sister is a photographer and took several photographs of little Paxton relishing life.  There is one of him basking in the wind as it blew on his face and through his soft, downy hair.  There is one of him reveling in the feel of the grass on his palms.  There is another of him absolutely delighted as he watched the sunset, marveling in the beauty, the light and the colors.  My favorite pictures of Paxton are of him reaching up to touch his mom's, dad's or brothers' faces, memorizing every curve and bend of the faces of those he loved most and connecting with their souls.

We believe that Paxton signed up for a 3 year mission.  He long overstayed his needed proving time here on earth, but he stayed because he loved his family and God's beautiful world and . . . because we needed him.  We needed his example to teach us not just how to live, but how to live well, live fully, and live happily.  We needed the light and joy that he brought to us simply by smiling.  His smile was contagious and it will forever be written on my heart.

One of the greatest lessons Paxton taught me was to always look up and look towards the light.  Paxton always did this.  My sister said that every morning when she would get him out of bed, he would have to turn to look towards the sunlight streaming through the window blinds.  He loved looking towards the light.  He always looked up too and his sweet hand would follow his gaze as he reached up.  My sister had a video monitor in Paxton's room so that she could always keep an eye on him if she had to step out of the room.  One of her favorite pictures of Paxton was when he was laying on his floor in his room all by himself.  She caught a moment on the video where he was reaching up and looking up with a huge smile on his face.  She believes he was seeing his guardian, ministering angels who watched over him.  Shannon called these his "friends" because she knew that Paxton saw them, loved them and knew who they were even though she didn't.  Paxton had angels watching over him, but for us, Paxton was our angel.  He was sent here to teach us precious, special lessons about life.  Now he gets to be our angel in heaven.  Shannon said at his funeral, "You were our perfectly imperfect angel, and now you are our perfectly perfect angel."

Do you see why this little boy was so special?  Do you grasp the invaluable life lessons that we can learn from one so small?  I imagine Paxton would tell us something like this . . .

"Embrace life.  Live in the moment.  Enjoy God's beautiful world that He created for you, for your joy and happiness.  Treasure every moment with those that you love.  Don't take any time you have with them for granted because life is so fragile and can be taken from you at any moment.  Be and do all that you were created to be and do.  Don't waste any time worrying about what the world thinks.  You are not on earth to live for the world's purposes.  You are on earth to live for God's purposes.  So trust in Him.  Believe in Him.  Love Him because He loves you more than you know.  Go to Him and He will help you uncover the truth of who you are.  He knows the truth because He created it and He created you.  Then go live that truth with passion and purpose.  That is how you will find your joy.  And even when life seems harder than you can bear, never give up.  Look up.  Reach up.  Turn towards the Source of all light, even God, in order to not only find the strength to endure this life, but to endure it well.  Most importantly, be grateful to God for the life you do have and . . . SMILE!"

May we all learn from Paxton how we can better live and love life no matter what difficulties and trials, weaknesses and faults we may have.

I believe Paxton's life very much epitomizes what I am trying to teach on this blog in the word "be.YOU.tiful".  Paxton was an absolutely beautiful soul because he lived according to the truth of who he was . . . and he was happy!  He remained untouched by the world despite the difficulties he faced due to his frail frame.  He let his light shine brightly for the world to see touching thousands of lives.  Although he couldn't move and he couldn't speak, as a close family friend put it, "Seldom has the life of one child blessed the lives of so many in such a brief period of time."  We all have the opportunity, the ability and the responsibility to live as Paxton lived.  In the words of the scriptures:

Ye are the light of the world. . . .  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in Heaven.

Matthew 5:14, 16

...that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

John 9:3

So go be like Paxton by being your beautiful, true, authentic, unique self!  Let your light shine so the works of God may be made manifest through you!  In other words . . .

be.YOU.tiful!!!

P.S.  If you would like to learn more about Paxton, you can Google Paxton Norton and many news clips and articles will pop up.  One of my personal favorites is the talk my father, Elder Ronald A. Rasband, gave about little Paxton in the April 2012 LDS General Conference entitled "Special Lessons".  Click here to go directly to it.  You can also check out my sister's blog by clicking here.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall . . .

I feel time is way overdue to share with you a tool that instead of letting go of the negative helps us to embrace the positive.  And yes, it has to do with the mirror.  That dreaded mirror that so many of us have the hardest time looking into without negative thoughts wreaking havoc in our minds.  But what we don't realize is that the mirror can be a tool of great power and positivity in our lives if we will let it.  It can be our closest friend and advocate, reminding us of who we REALLY are.  

I have had an experience lately that has taught me about the importance of living true to who I am and what my purpose is.  This experience has also taught me that it is so easy to get sidetracked by the noise and distractions of the world to a point that we forget who we really are.  It has taught me of the need I have on a daily basis to remind myself of the most important thing - to be who I truly am regardless of what the world may think or say.  And by doing that, I will be happy.

Summer has been a bit hard for me as life has slowed down in some ways and sped up in other ways.  I have felt a little lost physically, mentally, and emotionally by the change in my schedule and routine.  Unfortunately, change has the power to do that to us if we are not prepared for it.  I suppose I wasn't prepared and even though I have been through this healing process, I am still not immune to falling.  I started to become concerned again with what people thought of me.  I felt the need to gain their approval and acceptance not just in how I looked, but also in what I did and in who I was.  These beliefs caused me to become discouraged and depressed.  I reverted to my previous coping behaviors in order to escape these negative feelings I was having.  I struggled pinpointing exactly what was causing these negative feelings and behaviors to surface, until a couple days ago.  I did a write and burn and it all came out, including the tears.  I had let myself believe that if I wasn't good enough for certain people, then why keep trying.  So I stopped caring about trying and like I said in my last post, when I stop caring, things tend to quickly go downhill for me, and I fall.

After burning the paper, I felt a huge weight lifted.  I realized that it doesn't matter what these imperfect mortals think of me because they don't know who I really am.  They don't know my intentions or see my heart.  The most important thing I realized is that the people who truly know me, who know my heart, my weaknesses and my strengths, my flaws and my talents, my purpose and potential are the same beings who are absolutely perfect.  They believe I can accomplish my purpose in this life even if I may make lots of mistakes along the way.  And even with all those mistakes, they love me unconditionally. They are my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ.  And guaranteed I have a Heavenly Mother up there too who believes in me just as much.  They are perfect and yet they accept and approve of me more than anyone else.  So why am I wasting my time trying to be approved of and accepted by imperfect mortal people?  Why am I so concerned about what this world thinks of me when supreme, divine, heavenly beings think I am pretty special?  As I remembered the love and acceptance I have from my perfect heavenly parents and my elder brother, Jesus Christ, I gained the power and confidence to go forward, being true to who I really am and true to the divine purpose I was given by my Heavenly Father long before my mortal life even began.

This is true for all of us my friends!  This is who we all are!  Divine children of God who gave us a mission and a purpose to fulfill during our mortal lifetimes unlike anyone else's.  And because we are each so different and unique in who we are and in our purpose, we each have a responsibility to shine!  God needs each one of us through our own powerful, unique, beautiful talents, gifts and purposes to make a difference in this world for good, to shed light on the darkness.  We will each shine in different ways and in different colors, but no matter how we shine, our light will give warmth and color to a world where Satan is trying to make everything black, cold, hopeless and lightless.

I have shared my love of the analogy of us to a diamond in a previous post.  I found this picture the other day which I feel completely tells the story of what we, as God's precious gems, His diamonds, can do with His light that is within us.

Isn't that beautiful!!  This is what we have the power to do!!

GOD'S LIGHT + BEING THE BRILLIANT, RADIANT, UNIQUE DIAMOND WE TRULY ARE = HAPPINESS AND A POWERFUL RAINBOW OF LIGHT THAT SHINES OUTWARD INFLUENCING ALL AROUND US!!

It's true my friends!!!  I know this because I am living it!

Let's not let the mud and stains of the world cover up and bury the beautiful diamond that we are!  Let's not let Satan darken and dim the bright light we were born with!  Let's not let negative beliefs about ourselves cause us to hide how brilliant and radiant we really are!  By reminding ourselves on a daily basis of who we truly are - our gifts, talents, our purpose and the desires of our heart - we can go forward in our day not only sharing our light with others, but also being happy!  That is how it works!

This mirror tool I want to share with you is a way to remind yourself that you are powerful, special, beautiful and unique just the way you are. That you have a peculiar, brilliant light that is meant to touch, warm and inspire those within your sphere of influence.

So stand up straight facing the mirror with your shoulders back and your hands down at your side.  Look at yourself in the mirror, right eye to right eye, for 2 minutes.  Remember, the eyes are the window to the soul.  So look into your soul.  Don't just focus on the physical because you are not your body.  You are your spirit!  Look into your beautiful soul.  Allow it to be seen.  Who are you really? What does your spirit look like?  Try to remain as physically still and as mentally positive as possible.  Pay attention to how your body may fidget or move.  Do you look away?  Pay attention to what thoughts come into your head.  What are you feeling?  Take time to address those thoughts and feelings that come up.  Why did you fidget or look away?  Why did you feel that way?  The end goal of this exercise is to be able to fill those 2 minutes not only thinking positive thoughts about yourself without looking away or fidgeting, but to also express out loud with power and conviction in your voice, the truth of who you really are, acknowledging your strengths, gifts and talents, and declaring your purpose in life.

Now I'll be the first one to admit that this was very hard for me in the beginning.  I struggled looking at myself.  I berated myself mentally thinking many negative thoughts.  I had a hard time being still physically and not looking away.  Over time, I moved from thinking negative thoughts to just being quiet in my mind and being still physically.  That stillness in my mind and body allowed me to begin thinking positive thoughts.  I had let go of the negative thus making space for the positive.  Then I started to whisper those positive thoughts out loud.  Today, I speak with boldness and power as I declare the truths about myself.  Tears always fill my eyes as I remind myself in the mirror of who I really am and what God sent me here to do.  It is such a powerful tool!  My body and spirit crave it now, especially on those days that I may be struggling.  I use this tool to lift my spirits and climb that ladder back up to the top of my life cycle.

This tool can also serve as a wonderful gauge to how you are progressing and healing.  As you start to see how you react differently when you look in the mirror for those 2 minutes, you see how far you've come, where you're at, and where you still want to go.  I have a gal that I am mentoring who has seen her progress through the use of this tool.  In the beginning, she couldn't even stand to look at herself for 15 seconds!  While she is still progressing, it has become something she can do and something she appreciates as it reminds her of who she really is as defined by her creator, God.

So don't let this tool get you frustrated.  Be patient with it and don't give up on it.  Continue pressing forward on your journey.  Continue to be aware.  Continue using the tools you have learned that will enable you to get back on top of your life cycle quicker.  And continue to remind yourself of who you really are, what your unique gifts, talents and strengths are, and why God needs you on this earth at this time, shining your light out into the world and overpowering the darkness.

Repeat of Favorite Quote #7:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most...We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson, American author and lecturer

Favorite Scripture #13:

Let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

3 Nephi 12:16

We were born to shine!  We were born to "make manifest the glory of God that is within us"!  It is not prideful to acknowledge, embrace, love, and be who we truly are!  It is what we were meant to do!  We were meant to let our light shine so that we can be a tool in God's hand to bring others back to Him.  We were meant to shine in order to empower and inspire others to shine too!  But the really cool thing about this is that when we embrace and act on the truth of who we are, when we let our light shine, we feel greater joy and peace in our lives beyond what any other worldly pursuit could offer us.  It's a win-win-win situation for God, us and all those within our influence!  You are a powerful, brilliant, radiant, sparkling diamond!  So embrace it!  Be true to it!  Look in that mirror and learn to love what you see in your beautiful soul!

Before you leave, click on this link to hear the song "Beautiful For Me" by Nicole Nordeman.  And realize it's about you!

Then go . . .

be.YOU.tiful!!!

Tool Four - The Life Cycle

So I'm thinking because it is summertime, I may have a harder time getting posts up on a regular basis.  I will continue to post when I can, but with kids around all the time and vacations, it might be less frequent for the next while.  But I still have things I want to share so I'll be back!  I also want to know what your questions and concerns are.  So please comment or email because I would like to use my blog to help answer your questions.  Guaranteed others are struggling the same way you are so when you speak up you don't just help yourself, you help others as well.  Let me know if there is anything I can help you with!

Another fabulous tool that I have used to help me be self-aware is called the Life Cycle.  We each experience this cycle in our own way.  By becoming aware of what our cycle looks like and means for us, we enable ourselves to quickly move from our lowest point to feeling on top of the world again. This is the Life Cycle:

So let me describe it to you.  We start at the top feeling on top of the world.  Life is good.  We feel happy, complete and peaceful.  Then something happens to us or we believe a certain negative thought about ourselves and we start to slip.  As I have paid attention to my life cycle, I have realized I slip when I start thinking "I don't care."  Whether it's I don't care about what I eat, about getting myself ready in the morning, about exercising, or whatever it may be, not caring causes me to slip down that slippery slope.  I have realized that I NEED to care and I NEED to do the things that make me feel good physically or else my mental, emotional and spiritual state is adversely affected.  Because of this tool, I now know that if I allow myself to not care, Satan sneaks in and drags me down.  And that is why the word "aware" is there off to the right.  If we aren't aware of what our thought and belief patterns are that cause us to slip, then we won't have the power to change them or the results we get from them.

So the first question mark represents the reasons, thoughts, or behaviors that cause you to slip.  What triggers the slip for you?  What are the thoughts and beliefs that cause you to start falling from a state of peace and joy?

The fall can be frustrating and often causes us to feel alone, sad and anxious.  Nobody wants to fall from a place of peace and joy, but because we are human, we WILL fall time and time again.  When my mentor described this cycle to me, he had me draw myself falling.  Guess how I drew myself?  I drew myself falling head first into a slab of cement.  Without consciously recognizing it, my drawing alluded to the fact that my falls were extremely hard and painful, completely knocking me out and rendering me unable both physically and emotionally to move on.  But why were my falls so painful?  It was because I had deceived myself into believing that I could be perfect and never fall.  I was unaware of the thoughts and beliefs which caused me to slip, thus I was completely unprepared for my impending fall and hard landing.  Those falls slammed me.  I would spend months, even years, down at that lowest point, in my pit of despair, because I had been so deeply hurt.  I didn't want to get back up just so I could feel all that pain again.  I became depressed, discouraged, and apathetic.  I died inside, going numb emotionally because feeling at all was just too hard.

There are three different types of people - the dabblers, the stressors, and the masters.  The dabblers are the ones that after some forward progress and healing, they hit a plateau or a hard point and then they give up and quit.  They see the plateau or hard point as failure.  They expect perfection and when things aren't perfect, they give up trying.  Everything is black or white.  When they aren't succeeding, they are failing and when they fail, there's no point in continuing on.  This was what I was.  I would fall, land hard and stay down, depressed and discouraged, because if I couldn't be perfect then why try.  

The stressors reach that plateau or that hard point and say, "There is no way I'm going to fall!  I will not fail!"  Because they are not aware of the slip coming, when it comes they panic, stress and fight it in order to get back to the top.  It's like they are going down a slide, but before they reach the bottom, they turn around and try to climb back up the slide even though they have mittens on their hands and socks on their feet.  This may postpone their landing, but it doesn't prevent it.  Eventually they do fall, but because they are a stressor, they push through, using force and anger to claw their way back up to the top.  They may reach the top again, but they leave a wake of destruction behind them.  They create a huge mess, particularly with those they love, as they fight the natural cycle in order to be on top.  Both the dabblers and the stressors are reactive to difficult situations.

The master spends as much time up top as possible while always expecting the slip to come.  They recognize their imperfect, mortal nature, thus they are not deceived into believing they will never fall.  Their awareness allows them to see the slip coming.  Their fearlessness allows them to calmly let the fall happen.  Their preparedness makes the fall far less painful to endure.  For the master, little time is spent down at that lowest point because they immediately do something to climb back out.  The master is proactive, expecting and preparing for future difficult situations.

Self-mastery doesn't mean we are strong enough or have enough self-control to keep ourselves from falling.  It means we understand our natural man condition rather than beating ourselves up for it.  It means we let go of any expectations or attachments to an ideal of perfection.

Favorite Quote #60:

A warrior is not about perfection or victory or invulnerability.  He is about absolute vulnerability.  That's the only true courage.

Peaceful Warrior

Absolute vulnerability and therefore true courage comes when we expect the fall and then allow it to happen.  When we are a peaceful warrior, a master, we remain self-aware and ever watchful, thus able to prepare for the slip and the imminent fall that follows.  Once we have started to slip, the fall is inevitable.  We recognize that our choice is not in whether or not we fall, but in how painful and difficult it is going to be.  We provide for ourselves a soft landing in order to lessen the pain.  I imagined my soft landing to be one of those gymnastic pits full of foam blocks.  Here it is pictured as a couple of pillows.  Landing in a bunch of foam blocks or on some pillows doesn't hurt or knock us senseless, so we are able to pick ourselves up quicker and easier.  Due to all of this, we no longer need fear the fall.  We expect it, anticipate it, and watch for it.  Falling is not failure.  It is an opportunity to be strengthened, to learn, improve, and progress.  It is a stepping stone toward success.

A peaceful warrior.  A master.  That's what we want to be.  Being a warrior or a master means we understand the ebb and flow of life, the yin and yang.  We let life flow through the good times and the hard times.  We "let go and let God" (Wayne Dyer).

So what is your soft landing?  What do you envision it to be?  Are you a dabbler, a stressor, or a master?  If you want to be a master, then are you willing to accept your fall and allow it to happen?  Because if you do, this life cycle can take you 7 minutes to get through instead of 7 months.  I've done it and it's amazing!

After we have fallen, we have a choice.  It's completely up to us how long we are going to stay at that lowest point.  We can wallow in self-pity and mourn the loss of our happy and peaceful state, or we can do something to get back to it.  I have spoken about this before when I talked about living in the moment.  We can waste our valuable, precious time by living in the past, dwelling on how good it was, or we can use that time to live in the moment and change where we are now to get back to where we want to be.  I know that is putting it bluntly and believe me I am talking about myself because I did a lot of wallowing and time-wasting.  The only way to get out from our pit of despair is to act.  So how?  How do we climb out?  If we look to the example of the master, they acknowledge they have fallen without guilt and shame.  They realize falling is part of their human condition.  They then identify which tool they need from within their emotional tool belt that will enable them to climb out of their pit of despair . . . and then they use it.  They act on truth.

So what are your tools?  What helps you to climb out of your lowest point?  The Write and Burn?  The Little Black Book?  Prayer?  Meditation?  Scripture study?  Music?  Positive affirmations?  By identifying the tool you need in that moment, you provide for yourself the needed help to quickly make your way back up to the top.  This act of climbing back up creates feelings of hope, desire and courage.  You're working and acting on the positive to combat the negative, so naturally you are going to get positive back.

After climbing, we then come to the last slope leading to the top.  This is still a slippery slope.  There is also great opposition at this point as represented by the wind off to the left.  If you think about Satan, when does he tend to attack the hardest and strongest?  Just before a positive, good thing is going to happen, right?  So we still need help reaching the top.  The help comes through the rope.  When we hold onto it and follow it, it leads us back to the top.  Our rope is our reason why, our purpose.  It is our belief in why we are here, our reason for living.  It gives meaning to all we do in life.  It breeds passion and provides direction.  It gives us the inspiration to keep going, the determination to do whatever it takes to get back on top.

So what is your rope?  What is your reason why?  What is the wind that blows hard against you trying to thwart your efforts to get back up to the top?  What are Satan's tactics that create resistance on your forward, upward progress?

Your homework is to find the answers to all of these questions.  And remember, the answers can only come from inside of you.

Repeat of Favorite Quote #34:

Everyone tells you what to do and what's good for you.  They don't want you to find your own answers.  They want you to believe theirs.  I want you to stop gathering information from outside yourself and start getting it from the inside.  People are afraid of what's inside.  And that's the only place they're ever going to find what they need.

Peaceful Warrior

So take some time to figure out your life cycle.  Dig a little in order to discover what each part of the cycle means for you.  When you are aware of what your life cycle looks like, then Satan can no longer catch you unaware.  Negativity can no longer come through a back door or a side door.  It can only come through the front door and when that happens, you will be waiting for it, fully ready and prepared to defeat it.

One of my favorite chapters in the Book of Mormon illustrates this.  It is Alma 49.  The city of Ammonihah had been defeated in the past by the Lamanites, the bad guys.  ;)  Moroni, the leader of the Nephites (the good guys), commands the Nephites to build up the fortifications around the city of Ammonihah in preparation for another attack by the Lamanites.  Here is what the Nephites did to their city:

Behold, I said that the city of Ammonihah had been rebuilt.  I say unto you, yea, that it was in part rebuilt; and because the Lamanites had destroyed it once because of the iniquity of the people, they supposed that it would again become an easy prey for them.

But behold, how great was their disappointment; for behold, the Nephites had dug up a ridge of earth round about them, which was so high that the Lamanites could not cast their stones and their arrows at them that they might take effect, neither could they come upon them save it was by their place of entrance.

Alma 49: 3-4

The Lamanites had to attack through the front door.  Well, this is what the Lamanites' reaction was to what they saw at Ammonihah:

Now at this time the chief captains of the Lamanites were astonished exceedingly, because of the wisdom of the Nephites in preparing their places of security.  

Now the leaders of the Lamanites had supposed, because of the greatness of their numbers, yea, they supposed that they should be privileged to come upon them as they had hitherto done; yea, and they had also prepared themselves with shields, and with breastplates; and they had also prepared themselves with garments of skins, yea, very thick garments to cover their nakedness.

And being thus prepared they supposed that they should easily overpower and subject their brethren to the yoke of bondage, or slay and massacre them according to their pleasure.

But behold, to their uttermost astonishment, they [the Nephites] were prepared for them, in a manner which never had been known among the children of Lehi.

Alma 49: 5-8

The captains of the Lamanites feared the preparations the Nephites had made to the city of Ammonihah so much that they retreated and did not attack.  They then made their way to another city of the Nephites called Noah, thinking they could overcome that city and taking an oath that they would destroy it.  But Moroni had done the same thing at Noah as he had done at Ammonihah, in fact Noah had been fortified and rebuilt even greater and stronger.  So despite their fear and due to the oath they had made, the Lamanite captains led their army in an attack against Noah.  This is what happened:

Now behold, the Lamanites could not get into their forts of security by any other way save by the entrance, because of the highness of the bank which had been thrown up, and the depth of the ditch which had been dug round about, save it were by the entrance.

And thus were the Nephites prepared to destroy all such as should attempt to climb up to enter the fort by any other way, by casting over stones and arrows at them.

Thus they were prepared, yea, a body of their strongest men, with their swords and their slings, to smite down all who should attempt to come into their place of security by the place of entrance; and thus were they prepared to defend themselves against the Lamanites.

And it came to pass that the captains of the Lamanites brought up their armies before the place of entrance, and began to contend with the Nephites, to get into their place of security; but behold, they were driven back from time to time, insomuch that they were slain with an immense slaughter.

Alma 49: 18-21

Holy cow!  Do you get that?  Do you see how that applies to us?  When we are aware of our life cycle, we are able to prepare ourselves for the attacks of Satan.  Satan is victorious due to his tactic of surprise.  His surprise attacks defeat us most every time.  But we disarm him when we take that element of surprise away, when we prevent him from attacking us at any other place but through the front door.  When we fortify ourselves in this way, we will always be able to see him coming.  We will then have the power to catch him and defeat him by stopping any tactic or device he uses to destroy us.  Powerful stuff!!

The story concludes with this verse:

Thus the Nephites had all power over their enemies; and thus the Lamanites did attempt to destroy the Nephites until their chief captains were all slain; yea, and more than a thousand of the Lamanites were slain; while, on the other hand, there was not a single soul of the Nephites which were slain.

Alma 49: 23

All power over their enemies!  And not a single soul of the Nephites were slain!  Isn't that what we all want?  The power to defeat all our enemies and not be slain?  Absolutely!  And this is how we do it!  So please take the time to become aware and prepare yourselves.  Because . . .

If ye are prepared ye shall not fear.

D&C 38: 30

We have nothing to fear when we are prepared.

I know this is possible.  I have been able to defeat Satan in my own life because I became aware of how he took me down, I prepared for it, then I expected it and remained ever watchful for when he came attacking.  Knowledge is power!  By gaining this knowledge, we gain power to defeat all the forces of evil and negativity that try to destroy us.  

May you take the time to empower yourselves, to be aware and prepare by building up your fortifications so that your enemies can only come in through the front door . . . and by doing that, their defeat is guaranteed.

As it is said in Star Wars, "May the force be with you!"  Go be powerful and . . . 

be.YOU.tiful!!!

Facing Our Demons

So I just have to begin by giving a shout out to all of my international friends.  Hello to all of you in the United Kingdom, Russia, Germany, France, South Korea, Brazil, Pakistan, Australia, India, Indonesia, and Jamaica!  I have had the incredible experience and opportunity in my life of traveling to several countries in the world. This has created in me a love for all the different people and cultures of the world. We are all so beautiful in our own uniquely different and special way!  When I was in college, I traveled with my father to Russia. I became fascinated by the country and gained a love for the Russian people.  Because of this, I came back to BYU and studied the Russian culture and history. I also studied the Russian language for 3 years. Unfortunately, I am not able to speak or understand much Russian anymore, but I do remember a little.  So to my Russian friends, "Привет! Как дела?"

Thank you all for reading my blog!  I truly hope the information I have shared is of help to you.  And I really hope that the translation from this blog into your language does a good enough job that you can understand what I am saying!  ;)

In this post, I wanted to continue talking about what I talked about in my last post.  I discussed why our emotions continue to resurface by comparing them to a library index drawer and to a tree.  Until we rip out all the cards from the index drawer or yank the tree out by the root, those emotions will continue to resurface.  Sometimes we refer to these negative emotions and painful past experiences as demons.  They come back to haunt us time and time again and because they are so scary, painful and difficult to face, we push them away, shoving them down out of our awareness.  As I talked to a friend about these demons, she commented that sometimes they like to surface at really inconvenient times.  Isn't that the truth?!!!  She said she may be at work or dealing with kids when her demons come haunting.  And in that moment, she can't stop to go do a write and burn or do more digging in order to let it go.  Sometimes we just can't deal with that emotion or experience in the moment it comes up.  So what can we do?

I want to help you be able to see and deal with these demons in a different way.  I actually like to think of them as little children instead of demons.  What does a little child do in order to get our attention when we are busy talking with someone else?  They will usually pull on our pant leg or arm while constantly saying, "Mom!  Mom!  Mom!  Mom!"  We love it when they do that right?  Now I have definitely had times where I reacted to my children in anger and frustration, unkindly telling them to not bug me in that moment because I was busy and, in a sense, pushing them away.  This type of reaction only resulted in an angrier child.  They may go away for a time, but come back even angrier, demanding my attention.  Or they don't go away at all, but keep nagging and pulling at my arm in order for me to acknowledge they are there and that they need me.  But hopefully more often than not, I have had the patience to say to that child, "I can't talk right now sweetie.  Can you please wait until I am done talking with my friend and then I will listen to you?"  This seems to satiate their need better.  They are able to wait because I acknowledged that they needed me even though I couldn't deal with them right then.

Do you see how we can liken that to our demons?  Our demons are just little children trying to get our attention.  They want to be acknowledged.  They want to be heard.  They need our acceptance and love.  Yes, there are many times where we will be busy and we can't deal with those demons in that moment.  However, when we try to push them away or shove them down by telling them that we are busy and don't want to deal with them, they usually come back with more power and force demanding once again to be acknowledged.  So instead of pushing them away, talk to them as you would talk to a little child pulling at your skirt.  "I know you are there.  I acknowledge that you need me to listen to you and hear you out.  I'm sorry but now is not a good time.  Can you please wait until later when I can give you my undivided time and attention?"  By giving our demons this moment of our time to acknowledge their presence satiates their need enough that they will back off.  Our job then is to do as we say.  Make a note to yourself of the feeling or experience that came to mind, then take the time later to deal with it.  If we don't take the time to deal with it later, then guaranteed that feeling or experience will come haunting us again at another time.

It may sound hokey to treat our demons like they are a person, but doing this is advantageous for us in two ways.  First, it enables us to recognize that these demons have needs and if we can give them what they really need, they will stop haunting us.  What they really need is our time, attention, acceptance, and love.

Repeat of Favorite Quote #6:

You'll never get enough of what you don't need because what you don't need won't satisfy.

And that is absolutely true for our demons.  If we are not giving them what they really need, they will never be satisfied and will come back needing more.

I have to make another plug here for one of my all-time favorite books called Eating in the Light of the Moon.  Please read this book!  The author, Anita Johnston, uses metaphors to expound on all of the things I have shared in this blog.  It is incredibly enlightening and you will have many "A-ha!" moments as you read it!

Anita so eloquently describes these demons and their need to be fed.  She tells a story about a woman who chased her hunger only to be led to some very hungry demons.  She says:

The old woman, like many of us, chased her food because she was driven by her hunger.  What is the food that you chase?  What might it symbolize?  And what is the hunger you are trying to satisfy?

Remember, our problem is not with food.  It is with the reasons for which we go to food.  What are we really hungry for?

Anita continues:

For this woman, chasing her food led her to an encounter with hungry demons that lived hidden underground and had voracious appetites.  You may recognize these demons as the ones you wrestle with within your own psyche, the ones that don't show their faces in the light of day but become ever present when the sun sets.  What is it they are hungry for?  What do they want you to feed them? . . .  What would you call your demons that hide deep in the dark crevices of your unconsciousness?  Addiction to Eating?  Loneliness?  Fear of Rejection?  Financial Insecurity?  Self-Loathing?  Not-Good-Enough?  Never-Thin-Enough?  What is it that haunts you, nags at you, holds you captive, wants you to feed it?

Imagine you have a magic paddle that can create a limitless supply of food to feed your demon.  What would that food be?  What does your demon want to eat?  What does it want you to feed it?  Attention?  Love?  Money?  Self-Acceptance?  Your Rage?

As long as we interpret our nonphysical hunger literally, we will attempt to use food to satisfy it, and we will remain hungry forever.  But when we can define our hungers and develop a deeper awareness of what we are hungry for, we can begin to seek the appropriate nourishment.

I love how she states that!  So when you do get the time to face your demons, ask them what they are really hungry for.  Why do they keep haunting you?  If you can give them what they really need, they will no longer have a need to haunt you.

Secondly, treating our demons like little children enables us to disassociate ourselves from them.  We are treating them as separate entities instead of as part of who we are.  Remember, thoughts, feelings, and even past painful experiences do not define who we are.  We are so much more!!  However, by not facing them and dealing with them, we give them power and control over us.  Treating them as another human being gives us the emotional distance to then face them, deal with them, and let them go.  It allows us to have compassion and love towards that feeling or experience instead of judgement, anger or fear.  If we allow ourselves to treat our demons with honor and respect by giving them our time and attention, what they can give back to us may be a pearl of great price.  What they can tell us may be the very thing that will free us.

So become aware of your demons.  If you can't take the time in the moment they come haunting to deal with them, at least acknowledge their presence and make note to deal with them later.  Then MAKE the time later to address them and allow them to speak.  Use the write and burn to get out on paper all that they tell you.  Keep asking questions so you can get to the root of the emotion or experience, so you can find out the real reason of why your demon is still haunting you.  What is that demon really hungry for?  Then burn that paper.  Let go of your attachment to that feeling or experience.  Set your demon free.  When we free our demons, we free ourselves.

I know you can do this because I did it!  Don't be afraid of those demons, but rather see them as a little child just trying to get your attention because they so desperately want to share something with you.  Recognize that by giving your demons what they really need, they can actually become your greatest friends, giving back to you what you really need.

Please email me or make a comment at the end of this post if you have any questions or need help with anything.  I would love to know what you are wondering about or if you are not quite grasping a concept.  Let me know how I can help because my passion, purpose and greatest desire is to assist you in creating your own joy and peace.  Again my email is rachellerchase@yahoo.com.

You are awesome, amazing, wonderful, and brilliant, so set your demons free and go . . .

be.YOU.tiful!!!

Asking Why

I had an incredible chat last week with a beautiful, wonderful lady.  I have been mentoring her for awhile and last week she had a huge "A-ha!" moment.  She mentioned that she couldn't stop the obsession she had to be skinny.  It was in her every thought whether it was about how much she weighed or what to eat or what not to eat or berating herself for what she did eat because all those things equated to whether or not she was skinny enough.  So I asked her the question, "Why do you need to be skinny?"  She responded that if she wasn't, then she wasn't good enough.  I then asked her "What happens when you're not good enough?"  She said, "Then there's no point of existing."  So basically, her belief was that if she wasn't skinny, then there was no point in living.  Can you see how that core belief would govern her whole existence?  No wonder that was all she thought about!  No wonder she was obsessed with being skinny!  Because if she wasn't skinny, then she would feel like an absolute failure not just at being skinny, but at living.

Favorite Quote #59:

We don't see things as they are.  We see things as we are.

Our beliefs determine our reality.  Our perception of ourselves determines our perception of the world.   Recognizing this core belief was a huge awakening for my friend.  She had no idea that her desire to be skinny ran that deep.  But now because she knows, she has gained the power to do something about it.    She was also able to see how her negative belief about herself only brought her negative results.  This belief had only caused her misery and pain.  Why?  Because it was not based in truth!  By asking why, she was able to identify this core belief.  Because she identified it as untrue, she now has the power to replace it with truth.

So do you see what we discovered by asking the question why?  Do you see how we figured out a core untruth that she had been believing for so long when we dug a little deeper?  I think there are many of you out there who have used the write and burn or the little black book, but those negative feelings and thoughts you write about keep resurfacing which then makes you frustrated and makes you think they aren't working, so you stop using the tools.  Let me explain why this happens with another analogy.  Picture one of the old-fashioned index drawers that we used to access at the library to find a book.  Yes these are antiques now.  Here's a picture of one.

Each drawer represents an emotion we have experienced.  Then each one of those cards in the drawer represents an experience that we have had with that emotion.  Obviously we want our drawer labeled "Happiness" to have lots of cards in it.  When we feel happiness, don't we have a rush of good feelings and memories come to our heart and mind?  That's because when we feel an emotion, we are opening that drawer and allowing all of those other experiences to resurface as well.  The more cards that are in that drawer, the more powerful the emotion feels.  Unfortunately, the same thing happens with negative emotion which is why we want to shove down and bury those negative feelings, thoughts, and beliefs because sometimes it is just too hard to be reminded of the painful, negative experiences of the past.  But like I have said before, we will never be rid of the effects of a painful past experience until we face it and let it go.  When we do the write and burn or use the little black book, we are pulling out a card from that file drawer.  However, there are still several cards left in that drawer.  And that is why that emotion continues to resurface.  We haven't completely cleaned out the file drawer yet.  Clearing out all the cards in that drawer requires that we face and deal with each experience with that emotion.  This can be a very daunting task if you have a deeply filled file drawer.  But there is another way.  It is by asking the question "Why?" when the emotion is up or when you are ready to just deal with it and let it go.  When you feel anger, do your write and burn, but don't just write about why you're feeling anger in that moment.  Ask the questions "Why?", "How come?", "What for?", or "What happens if?".  Dig deeper.  Write whatever comes to your mind from experiences in the past. Your goal is to find that very first card that was ever put in that file drawer.  If you can identify that very first card, then you find where that emotion originated.  You find the core belief.  By ripping out that first card, you wipe out all the rest.

I also like to compare this concept to a forest of trees.  

Each tree represents an emotion.  Depending on how much time has gone by and how many experiences you have had with that emotion determines how tall, thick and deeply rooted that tree has become.  Now we can spend lots of time and energy chopping down that tree from the top to the bottom making it shorter and shorter, or we can rip that tree out by the root and take the whole tree down in one shot.  It is not easy to go right to the root of the emotion.  It requires us to dig deep and work hard through sweat and tears in order to yank it out.  But we can do it if we choose to!  Isn't a moment of pain and hard work worth dealing with instead of a lifetime of self-sabotage and heartache because we have let that emotion gain power over us?  If you want to free yourself from the bondage you are in to an emotion or a negative belief about yourself, dig deeper and yank it out at the root.

I just got off of another phone call with my sweet friend that I am mentoring.  Its been a week since our last visit when she had her huge aha moment.  Wow!  In tears, her first comment to me was, "Rachelle, I've turned a corner."  She had an amazing, life-changing week!  She noticed things were different when she looked in the mirror at herself.  She would say to herself that she was a beautiful daughter of God instead of telling herself that she was ugly and fat.  She noticed things had shifted when she had no desire to binge eat but rather just ate till she was satisfied.  Another time when she did eat something that she didn't necessarily think she should have eaten, she didn't beat herself up about it but just accepted it and moved on.  I could go on with other experiences she had this week that signified her shift.  And the shift didn't just happen in her thoughts.  It was also clearly evident in her physical behaviors.  Remember the thought cycle?  Without any force or conscious effort, her actions and behaviors were changing because she had changed the way she thought about herself.  She had ripped out a core negative, untrue belief about herself therefore she made room for the positive - the truth of who she really was - and her whole life is changing because of it.  How exciting!!  How happy she was and excited she was for this next week!  She was so fired up to yank out the roots of the other negative emotions and beliefs that she has, even if its hard, because she has felt and seen the incredible positive results that come from doing it!

Repeat of Favorite Quote #2:

Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.

It's the truth my friends and it works!  You can choose to let go experience by experience, but you may not see the life changing results that you would like to see right away.  It will take time.  You're still doing a good thing, but it will take awhile.  If you're willing to do some digging and wipe out that emotion or belief at its root, then the positive results you will get will be instantaneous, huge and powerful!  Just like my friend experienced this week.  If you are ready and willing to do the hard work and push through the sweat and tears, then this will work for you too.  Why let anymore time go by where that emotion or negative belief has power to affect your actions and results in life?  Choose your own happiness!  Wipe out that file drawer!  Dig out the root!  Create the peace and joy for yourself that you so desperately want!  Its there waiting for you to reach out and grab it!! 

You can do this!  You're amazing, powerful, brilliant, and beautiful!  So go . . .

be.YOU.tiful!!

  

The 6 Truths of Healing

So I realize that because I have given you so much information on this blog that there are many of you out there that find the information helpful and insightful, but don't quite know how to use it.  I felt that I was trying to give you information in a step-by-step approach, but I now see that when you are reading it, it may not seem that way.  From my experience, I was practicing the things I learned as I learned them through my mentor, so it was a step-by-step process for me.  I realize that when you are getting information from a blog, you don't have that weekly guidance and direction.  If you need that guidance and accountability and are having a hard time incorporating this information into your life, please email me (rachellerchase@yahoo.com).  We can chat over the phone or I can provide some mentoring help.  My greatest desire is to help you in anyway you need it and in anyway I can!  But I also want to try and sum up all the information I have given you into a workable plan.  So here we go.

The 6 Truths of Healing

1)  Be aware 

I have talked about this concept many times and devoted a whole post to it.  This is essential to the healing process.  If you want a refresher on what it means to be aware, please go check out my post Becoming Aware.  The gist of it is that we need to be thinking about what we are thinking about.  We need to be aware of what is going on in our mind and not just accept our thoughts without first analyzing them to see if they're true or not.  Our thoughts do not define us, but if we believe them and attach ourselves to them, then they become us.  Remember the thought cycle?  If we are not aware of our thoughts, then we will have no power to change our actions or the results that come from our actions.  Learning to do this all the time takes time.  But the more you practice being aware, the sooner it will become what you do the majority of your life.

2)  Identify the negative and let it go

This concept I talked about in my Letting Go post.  If we are not identifying the negative and then letting it go, it will constantly build and build within us until we burst or become dead inside.  Remember my dam analogy and the analogy of the Dead Sea?  We have to let go of the negative if we want more room for the positive.  I also wrote about two tools that I use to let go in my post Tool One and Tool Two.  These tools are so easy to use, but they do require your time and awareness.  Investing your personal time and energy into your healing is the only way to heal.  Only you can fix you.  Only you can create your own happiness.

Repeat of Favorite Quote #1:

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.  No  apologies or excuses.  No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.  The gift is yours.  It is an amazing journey, and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.

Favorite Quote #50:

Enjoy your life.  Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

3)  Recognize and believe the positive - the truth of who you really are

I have mentioned many times the need for recognizing and believing the truth of who we really are.  From my post Our Relationships up until my last one, I have continuously talked about how crucial it is to discover who we truly are if we want to be happy.  We are our spirit and when we unite ourselves more closely with our spirit instead of being at odds with it, then we find joy.  Its when we divide ourselves from our spirit that we are unhappy.  I have discussed how Satan deceives us into believing that who we are is defined by how we match up to the world's standards.  His definition of who we need to be is made by comparison.  Its a lie my friends!  I can't say that enough times and I can't shout it loud enough!  We are each beautiful and special in our own different and unique way!  We go against the very nature of our creation when we try to be just like everyone else and that is why we are unhappy.  I just saw the front of a magazine the other day that said Gwyneth Paltrow was named the most beautiful woman in the world.  I cringed because of the message that is sending out to all the women and young women in America and throughout the world.  The world has just quantified beauty by saying that if you want to be beautiful you have to look like Gwyneth Paltrow.  Last year it was Jennifer Lopez.  Like I have mentioned before, do you see how the world's standards are constantly changing?  Satan wants us to believe there is only one kind of beauty and if you don't fit that mold, you're not beautiful.  And yet he keeps changing those standards in order to keep us confused and frustrated.  Please don't believe these lies!

Favorite Quote #51:

Real Eyes
Realize
Real Lies

BE REAL!  Please look with your real eyes and realize the real lies that Satan is deceiving you into believing!  Find out who you are based on the reasons for which God made you.  God never changes.  He is constant and the truth of who you are has remained the same since the day your spirit was created.  He is your Creator!  He loves you more than you will ever know!  His greatest desire is for you to be truly happy now and eternally!  He is the source of all truth, peace and joy!  When you define yourself according to how God sees you, you define yourself according to truth and that will bring you greater peace and joy than any temporary pleasure the world could offer!

Favorite Quote #52:

Don't waste a lifetime of happiness for a few moments of pleasure!

4)  Act on the truth

As we identify the truth of who we are, we then need to act on it.  Go do what you love!  Go be what you have always wanted to be!  Develop your talents and share them!  Follow your bliss!  Do the things that bring you unspeakable joy!  And when you do that, you will not only be making yourself happy, but you will most likely be helping others to find happiness too.  True happiness comes when we share with others our real, authentic selves.  Sometimes we go through hard things, but those hard things are also meant to help us become all that we were created to be.  Because of what I went through during my 22 years of having an eating disorder, I am now extremely passionate about sharing truth and helping others understand who they really are.  That has become my purpose in life and it brings me so much joy to live true to my purpose!  Each of us have strengths and talents, flaws and weaknesses, trials and experiences.  All of these things together continue to refine us and make us into who we were created to be.  Pray.  Meditate.  Ask God to help you identify and act on the truths of who you really are.  Seek His help and He will give you the strength and power to be and do all that He sent you here to be and do.  Remember, with God all things are possible!  

Favorite Quote #53:

Do the thing you love more than anything in life!  You might become a bit unpredictable, sometimes cranky, but you will be happier than you ever imagined possible.

And that is exactly what happens when you act on the truth of who you really are!  You will be happier than you ever imagined possible!  I know that is true because I am living it!

5)  List it to live it

I am a writer.  Throughout my eating disorder, writing and journaling became a huge outlet for me.  Along with food, it was one of the ways I coped.  However, I would mostly write about all the negative and unhappy things that were happening to me.  I dwelt on the negative and because I did that, negative is what I got back.

Favorite Quote #54:

The only reason its a part of your life is because you keep thinking about it.

Its the truth!  Now I am writing this blog.  My goal is to write a book or books.  I love to write!  But instead of writing the negative, I am writing the positive.  I am writing about truth and because I am doing that, it is becoming more a part of who I am.  Writing is a huge part of healing.  You don't have to be an eloquent or talented writer to write.  We need to write because there is something that happens to us when we do.  It is a means to make whatever you are writing about more a part of your life.  Why do you think the Bible or the Book of Mormon were written?  Yes of course they were written for us and our day, but I can guarantee you that the prophets and authors of those great books benefited as well as they wrote down the truth of who they were and what they were learning.  Why do you think we have been asked to keep a journal?  Yes for our posterity, but I also believe it is for our own growth and progression.  As we write down truth and focus on the positive, truth and positivity become more ingrained in our heart and soul.  So next to your little black book and your stack of loose leaf paper, have a colorful notebook (I prefer yellow which represents light and knowledge) in which you can write the positive.  Write down and record the inspiration you receive from God.  Write down the blessings and tender mercies you receive.  Record the things you are grateful for each day.  Write down the positives about yourself-your talents and gifts.  As you write down the positive, you will get more positive back.

6)  Live in the moment

In order to successfully incorporate any of these truths into our lives, we need to live in the moment.  I just made a big post about this.  This truth is the key to making all the rest of the truths work for your benefit and healing.  By living in the moment, we will know what we need to do in that moment in order to be peaceful and happy.  In the moment, you may need to take a timeout and go do a write and burn.  Or you may need to work on something that is happening in the near future.  Or you may need to write down a bit of inspiration you just received.  Living in the moment doesn't mean we don't take care of things from the past or for the future.  It means that we take that moment to do something about it and not dwell in it.  Emotionally dwelling in the past or future keeps us from progressing.  We are literally in bondage when we allow ourselves to sit in the past or future.  The only way to progress is to use our present moment to act.  In the present is the only place we have agency and choice.  Satan absolutely wants to shut down our agency so he loves getting us to be sad or angry about our past or to worry about and fear our future.  So be fully invested where you are.  Enjoy the moment you have to progress and act on whatever it may be that is in your present consciousness.  Do your children need you?  Then be there fully with them and for them in that moment.  Are you on a date with your husband?  Then be there fully with him.  Are you feeling anger or discouragement?  Then do a write and burn and deal with it in the moment while it is up.  Are you feeling peace and joy?  Then thank your Heavenly Father for allowing you to feel that in that moment and then share it with those around you.  We can waste our time living in the past or the future, or we can use the moment we have to act and create our own happiness.  Because really all we have is this moment.  In the very next moment, our life could be taken from us.  So be grateful for every moment you have.  Embrace this moment and live in it fully.  By doing that, you will live happily and with no regrets.

So there it is my friends.  I hope that helps you in some way to know what you need to do in order to heal and create peace and joy in your life.  I have talked about each one of these truths in previous posts so go back and read those if you need a refresher on what they entail.  Now even though I've listed these truths as 1-6, there is no chronological order in which to work them.  I don't want you to think that one truth comes before or after another.  As I said, when you live in the moment, you will know what you need to do in that moment whether it is to focus on truth 2 or truth 5 or any of the other truths.  Listen to your heart.  You will know.

Most importantly, please understand that this process does take time.  You may think at first that you are making no progress at all.  But I promise you, you are!  If we didn't take baby steps at first, we wouldn't eventually learn how to run.  "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass."  Practice makes permanent so as you continue to practice approaching life in this new way, it will become more and more the majority of your life.  I still have moments when I go unconscious and resort to my distraction behaviors to escape.  But the majority of my life is this new way of life and I continue to work on making it even more so.  It's an amazing way of life and so fulfilling and rewarding!

Also please know that since you are learning truth and hopefully acting on that truth, Satan is going to work overtime to drag you down and make life hard for you.  He doesn't want you to find freedom, peace and joy.  He will always work on you to make you miserable like himself.  Misery loves company.  So please press on!  Keep going!  Keep working at it and trying every day because I promise you the peace and joy that comes as a result is so worth it!!!

Please feel free to give me feedback if you have any thoughts or feelings about this.  My goal is to help you in any way I can so I would love to know what you think and if this helps you or not.

My heart, love and prayers go out to all of you who are reading this and suffer as I have suffered or are suffering in any way, shape or form.  Life is just plain hard.  And we all have our stuff.  I have had my stuff.  But I am now here and my life is full of brightness, joy, peace, power, passion and purpose.  It doesn't mean that I won't have hard stuff in the future, but because of this new way that I am dealing with life, I believe I will be able to walk through that hard stuff with a smile on my face and peace in my heart.

Favorite Quote #55, #56, #57, and #58:

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.  Its about learning to dance in the rain.

Wherever you go, no matter the weather, always bring your own sunshine.

Peace.  It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.  It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain.  But He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.

This is possible for anyone who is willing to do the work.  So please do the work.  Turn to God for the strength and the power to do this work for yourself.  Hang in there!  You can do this!  You are amazing, powerful and brilliant!  So go and . . .

be.YOU.tiful!!

The Keys to Peace and Joy Part Two - Humility

I received an awesome comment from an anonymous friend after I made my last post.  Her question to me was one I am sure a lot of you out there have too.  She said she had read my blog, but was still not sure how to proceed especially when she continues to see her weight rise.  Such a valid concern.  Thank you for speaking up my friend!!  You are helping us all!  I am sure that there are some if not many of you who have read and understood what I have said in this blog, but still question where to start or you have gotten to a point and don't quite know how to proceed.  I think the issue is that through this blog you are getting tons of information and even though that is good, it may lead you to feel overwhelmed.  I really wish all of you had a mentor because that one on one, week by week opportunity to talk and be directed is so beneficial.  Plus it keeps you accountable and continually progressing forward.  I am not trying to make a plug here for you to call me to be your mentor, but it can be difficult to know how to do this all on your own.  I replied to my sweet friend's comment with some ideas that hopefully are helping her so go read the two comments that are attached to my last post if you find yourself in this same predicament.  I am going to address this issue more in depth in my next post and give you a step-by-step process that will take all this information I have given you and put it into a usable format.  If you have any questions please make a comment or email me.  I am glad to help in whatever way you need.  If you would like some one on one mentoring help, please let me know.  Again my email is rachellerchase@yahoo.com.

So God has a wonderful way of teaching us the lessons we need to learn.  I had been a little discouraged and depressed earlier last week and to be honest I wasn't sure why.  I had done some write and burns about what I thought I was feeling, but then the discouragement would pop back up again.  I talked with my mentor Tuesday and told him about these downer feelings I had been having.  I told him I had been doing the same things that I used to do when I was depressed-hiding out in my room, reading escape novels, playing games on my phone, getting irritated with my husband, and eating foods that taste good but don't make me feel good.  I was obviously trying to escape my feelings instead of facing them by allowing myself to get absorbed in my "distraction" behaviors.  What my mentor said to me was something I knew but hadn't applied.  I wasn't living in the moment.  I soon realized that my negative feelings were a combination of being worried about falling back into behaviors and patterns of the past while also fearing if I would be able to meet up to what's expected of me in my future.  I was dwelling in both the past and the future and I was discouraged and depressed.  I find it ironic that I just did a big post on living in the moment and yet I am still learning to do it in my own life.  So yes I am not perfect and yes I am still learning.  Even though I have overcome a lot of the negative behaviors that held me captive, Satan will continue to attack me in those areas because he knows that's where my weakness is and that's where he has gotten me before.  I have to continually be aware of what is going on in my mind and have my tools ready to use so that Satan can't get me to stay down.  But no matter how imperfect I am, what I am saying and teaching is truth.  Truth is truth no matter how imperfect the deliverer of truth is.  My last post about living in the moment is true!  When we are in the moment and focusing on what we are doing now and who we are now then we find peace and joy.  If we let ourselves get focused on the past or the future, that is when all those negative feelings start creeping in.  So continue to be aware of where your thoughts are going and do all you can to live in the now!  Be fully present where you are!  It does take time as I so obviously prove.  I am still learning how to make living in the moment the majority of my life, but I know it is possible.  I already find myself letting go of thoughts that take me away from being in the moment simply because I became aware that I was living in my past and future.

Favorite Quote #49:

What time is it?
NOW!

Where are you?
HERE!

What are you?
THIS MOMENT!

Peaceful Warrior

This moment is all we have my friends.  So let's use it to be all that we were created to be!  By doing that, we will be happy!

Along these same lines of living in the moment is another key truth.  It is also related to finding ourselves in the middle, centered, and balanced as opposed to living on the ends.  I talked about the extreme beliefs of "I'm not good enough" or "I'm less than" and the opposite extreme of "I'm better than" in previous posts.  Just as we want to be in the middle by being in the present and not in the past or future, we also want to be in the middle by being humble instead of prideful which happens when we believe either extreme of "I'm less than" or "I'm better than".  We combat pride through humility, so humility is the other key to peace and joy that I want to talk about.  I feel a lot of us may not necessarily understand what humility really is.  We may think that thinking poorly of ourselves is being humble.  That is not true.  Remember my pride stick diagram?  Well, here it is again but I have altered it a bit in order to show you what humility is.

Being humble means we are balanced, centered, and grounded.  It means we understand the true nature of who we really are.  When we are humble, we believe two things about ourselves, thus the balancing effect as shown in the diagram.  The beliefs that keep us balanced are that of being nothing and everything at the same time.  These beliefs are not meant to be separated.  Do you see that when these beliefs are divided, they become "I'm less than" and "I'm better than"?  Satan wants us to believe that we are one extreme or the other or he gets us to ping-pong back and forth between them trying to figure out which one we are.  He does this to keep us from being in the middle because in the middle is where we will find peace, happiness, and confidence.  I think a lot of us believe that self-confidence is pride.  This is FALSE!  Confidence in yourself means you know who you really are according to truth.  Self-confidence is humility.  These beliefs of "I am nothing" and "I am everything" are not meant to be separated because within them both is the truth of who we really are.  Its when we divide these truths, when we separate them, do we become unhappy and miserable.  Now I want you to try a little experiment.  Grab a pencil.  Lightly hold that pencil at one end between your thumb and your pointer finger.  When you do this, what happens to the other end of the pencil?  It should fall if you're doing it the way I'm trying to explain it.  ;)  If you hold the other end of the pencil in the same way, then the same thing should happen - the opposite side falls.  But what happens when you hold that pencil in the middle?  It stays strong, balanced, straight, stable and firm.  The same thing happens with us.  When we are at either end, we are prideful and we fall.  When we are in the middle, we are humble, content, stable, strong and happy.  

Now once again, I believe in God and I believe that all truth ultimately comes from God.  I also believe that when we live our lives according to truth or in other words according to God's way, we will find peace and joy.  We can know what is truth by the way it makes us feel and by the actions that come as a result of believing it.  I know that everything I have said in my blog is truth because of the happiness I have felt as a result of believing it and for the good it has brought in my life and in the lives of others as I have acted on it.  The lies that I believed for so long during my eating disorder only brought me sorrow and despair.  I know now that what I was believing was untrue because of how it made me feel and what it caused me to do.  So experiment on the words I am saying.  Test them out and if what I am saying feels good and causes you to do good, then it is truth.  As I quote more scripture, please read to find the truth that is in it.  Even if you aren't members of the LDS faith, read to find the truth because the truth will set you free!!

I want to share with you the scriptural account that helped me come up with this pride/humility diagram.  I want you to understand that what I just shared with you is not just my creation, but it comes from the word of God.  And because it comes from God, it is truth.  In Moses 1 in the Pearl of Great Price, we learn that Moses goes up into a high mountain where he talks face to face with God.  God tells Moses this:

And I have a work for thee, Moses, my son; and thou art in the similitude of mine Only Begotten; and mine Only Begotten is and shall be the Savior, for he is full of grace and truth; but there is no God beside me, and all things are present with me, for I know them all.

Moses 1:6

I love this verse of scripture because it is full of amazing truths!  The first truth we learn is that we each have a work to perform.  If God said this to Moses, then He said it to each one of us.  In fact, if you look up "work" in the scriptures, you will see several times where the Lord tells different people what their "work" is.  The Lord also says several times in the D&C that "what I say unto one I say unto all".  God is no respecter of persons.  His truth applies to each one of us.  We each have a plan, a work and a purpose.  We are each so vital and important to God that He sent us all here to this earth for a specific reason.  Doesn't that understanding and truth give meaning to our lives?  Does it not help us realize that whatever happens to us, it is all meant to help us be and do all that He created us to be and do?  I don't believe in coincidence, chance, or luck.  I believe God is in the details of our lives.  If we will BELIEVE this truth that we all have a work to do, then through the direction and guidance of God, we will be amazed at what God can help us do and become in this life and in the next!  So what is your purpose?  What is your work?  Knowing your purpose doesn't mean you know exactly what is going to happen in your life.  Knowing your purpose means you know to what end you are going to live your life.  As Jesus Christ put it, "To this end was I born."  We can come to know our purpose and our work as we read our patriarchal blessing, pray, meditate, attend the temple, attend church and read the scriptures.  We can look at our life's experiences and trials and the things we have learned from them.  We can recognize and develop our gifts and talents.  Through these things and by opening our hearts and minds to God, we will receive personal revelation as to what we need to do in our lives.  But of course, we have our agency and we can choose to follow Him or we can choose not to.  It is ultimately our choice.  But "wickedness never was happiness".  God's way is the only way that will lead us to real and lasting peace and joy.

Next, God calls Moses by name and then calls him His son.  What an incredible truth!  God knows each one of us by name and we are all His sons and daughters.  We are divine!  Our spirits were created by Him, a divine being, and He loves us because we are His children.  I know in the LDS faith we are taught this since we are little.  But do we BELIEVE this truth that we are sons and daughters of God?  When we believe something, whether its true or untrue, it becomes who we are.  Whatever we believe is evidenced in the way we look and in the way we act.  I will tell you that I thought I believed I was a daughter of God my whole life.  I read my scriptures and said my prayers and went to church.  So maybe in some way I did believe because I did those things.  But I don't think I believed in what it meant to be a daughter of God.  I was deceived and misled into believing that my worth depended on how I was seen by the world.  Because we can never be good enough according to the world, I soon felt unlovable and unworthy.  This led me to develop a negative, disabling, self-sabotaging eating disorder.  This untrue belief affected my body and of course it affected me emotionally.  I became extremely miserable and unhappy.  All of these consequences came because of believing untruths about myself.  I didn't believe in who I truly was until a year ago and that's when not only did I find real peace and joy, not only did my negative behavior become positive, but my outward appearance also changed.  And I'm not talking about weight even though that changed too.  I'm talking about my countenance.  There is a light in my eyes that wasn't there before.  The compliments I have received over this last year have been more about the fact that I am "glowing", "shining", "radiating", that I "look happy", and that I have "a light about me" as opposed to about the weight I have lost.  And that has all come because I finally believe the truth about who I really am.  God is the source of all truth and light.  When we understand not only who we are but "whose we are" as Sister Dalton so beautifully put it, then God's truth and light shines through us.  I am a daughter of God!  We are all the sons and daughters of a divine, perfect, exalted being!!

Another truth we learn is that we were created in the image of Jesus Christ.  Jesus Christ was God's only perfect child.  He was God's firstborn sent to earth to perform a sacred work that would impact all of us.  Jesus Christ knew who He was from a very young age and because of that was able to perform the work that God asked Him to perform, even when it meant to endure the ultimate suffering and anguish of paying the price for all of our sins.  He was able to do it because He knew who He was and He knew His purpose.  He now sits with God in heaven as a perfect and exalted being.  We were created in Christ's image therefore we have the ability and opportunity to become like He is which means we too can be perfect and exalted beings.  Do we BELIEVE in our potential?  That we can become gods and goddesses ourselves?  This can be a hard concept to grasp because of our imperfect nature now, but its all part of the plan.  How can a doctor become a doctor if he doesn't go through the necessary training or learning period?  This earth life is our training, our learning period.  We are not meant to be perfect now.  We are meant to be students now and learn how to become as Christ is.  Because that is our destiny!  To become as Christ is - a perfect and exalted being!

Then we learn about Jesus Christ.  God boldly declares that Jesus Christ is the Savior.  God wants us to know and understand the role Christ would perform on this earth.  But not only that Christ shall be the Savior, but that He IS NOW the Savior.  Remember God is telling Moses this long before Christ comes to the earth.  Christ took on the role of Savior in the Grand Council in heaven before any of us came to earth.  We all loved and honored Him then knowing the sacrifice He would make on earth in our behalf.  So shouldn't we have those same feelings for Him now?  Shouldn't we be doing all we can to honor His sacrifice now by the way we live our lives?  Don't we honor a person by doing what they would have us do?  God is pointing us to Jesus Christ because He wants us to know who to follow and be like if we want to achieve and receive of our divine potential.  Because of the Atonement Christ so willingly made for each one of us, we can look to Him as the source of all grace.  Christ lived a perfect life and because of that, we can look to Him as the source of all truth.  Do we BELIEVE that Jesus Christ is who God says He is?  If we want to be happy, if we want to have true peace and joy, we need to look to and follow Christ because He is the source of all grace and truth.

The final truth we learn is about God Himself.  We learn that He is the one and only God.  There is no other God to worship but Him.  We learn that He is all-knowing because everything is present before Him.  Hmmm.  That's a whole deeper level into the truth of living in the moment.  No wonder God is so happy and peaceful!  He lives in the present.  All things are present before Him.  I never thought of living in the moment in that way before but its truth.  What a cool realization about God and one of the reasons for His peace and happiness!  Through this truth we understand that we can have complete and total faith in God because He is the one and only God and because His great work and glory is "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man".  We can trust that He loves us and all that is included in our individual plans and purposes is meant for our eventual exaltation.  He doesn't determine our actions, we do.  We still have our agency.  But because everything is present before Him, He can see the end from the beginning.  He knows the choices we are going to make and will always provide a way for us to do what He asks us to do.  What peace and comfort that can give us when we are dealing with hard stuff.  As tough as it is, if we will allow ourselves to learn from those hard times instead of becoming bitter by them, then those hard times will become stepping stones to our exaltation.  I am in awe and reverence of how perfect God's plan is for each one of us.  I know God is real and I know God loves us so much that He gives us the hard times so we can be all that we were created to be!

Incredible and powerful truths right?  Well, let's move on in the story.  Moses is then shown a vision of all God's children that have ever lived and that will ever live on this earth.  Moses saw us and our day!  As the vision ends, God leaves and Moses faints from complete and total physical, spiritual, emotional and mental exhaustion.  As he awakes, he says this:

Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.

He recognizes the truth that we are nothing.  So that is where I got "I am nothing" from.  Moses sees all of God's earthly creations and realizes his insignificance.  He knows that he was created from the dust of the earth and that there are countless numbers of God's children like himself.  But this truth in and of itself was insufficient.  He didn't think that he was less than or better than God's other children.  He realized he was equal to all of God's children because all of God's children had a purpose and a work to perform just like him.  All of God's children would have trials and weaknesses and also gifts and strengths in order to accomplish their work and achieve their greatest potential.  Moses also BELIEVED in what it meant to be a son of God.  He realized that he meant everything to God because he was His son.  He realized that even he, one man among many, must be important to God or God would not have spent that time with him showing him His creations and then giving Moses such an incredible work to do.  And that's where I found the truth of "I am everything".  Even though we may be nothing as we look at the grand picture, to God we are everything because every one of us are His children and He needs every one of us to fulfill our own plan in order for His grand plan to be accomplished.  I love it when my kids ask me who my favorite child is.  I immediately reply, "You are all my favorite children!"  I know that is the way God feels about each one of us.  I may not perfectly show it all the time, but God obviously does.  Some of us earn certain blessings and privileges because of our actions while others don't (isn't that true about our own children?), but that doesn't mean God loves any of His children more or less.  He loves all of us equally and wants to give all of us everything He has.

Well, right in the moment that Moses was thinking all of this, Satan comes tempting him.  Why?  Because Moses realized the truth of who he was and Satan was going to do all he could to distract him from that.  Satan says to Moses, "Moses, son of Man, worship me." Whoa!  God had just told Moses he was a son of God and look how Satan tries to get Moses to forget that truth by calling him a son of man.  Moses stands strong and asks Satan where his glory is because Moses can look on him with his natural eyes whereas he just saw God and had to be transfigured in order to behold His glory.  Then Moses makes this most powerful declaration:

Get thee hence, Satan; deceive me not; for God said unto me: Thou art after the similitude of mine Only Begotten.

Moses knew who he was and because of that he was able to recognize Satan's deceptions.  That is powerful!!  When we know who we truly are, it is then that we have the ability to recognize the negative, deceiving lies that Satan is planting in our heads.  But Moses wasn't completely successful at casting Satan out yet.  Moses says a few more things which causes Satan to rant and rave and tempt Moses all the more to worship him.  In fact, Satan even calls himself the "Only Begotten".  Do you see how Satan twisted the truth in order to deceive Moses?  Does Satan not still do that today?  Let me assure you that he does!  Well, at this point Moses starts to fear.  Really interesting right?  As Moses starts to fear, it says "he saw the bitterness of hell".  Wow!  When we fear, isn't that when we get down and discouraged and depressed to a point where we even see "the bitterness of hell"?  So what is fear?  I love this definition of fear based on an acronym of the word.

F=False
E=Evidence
A=Appearing
R=Real

Is that not so true?  Fear is false evidence appearing real.  Fear is absolutely Satan's tool to get us to fall into his trap of misery and despair, to get us to plummet down that negative spiral.  It really is the door to hell because we allow ourselves to get wrapped up in things that are untrue and unreal.  So how do we keep ourselves from opening that door and falling in?  What Moses does next in this story is the answer.

Nevertheless, calling upon God, he received strength, and he commanded, saying: Depart from me, Satan, for this one God only will I worship, which is the God of glory.

And now Satan began to tremble, and the earth shook; and Moses received strength, and called upon God, saying: In the name of the Only Begotten, depart hence, Satan.

And it came to pass that Satan cried with a loud voice, with weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth; and he departed hence, even from the presence of Moses, that he beheld him not.

Moses 1:20-22

Do you see what just happened there?  This is where my little equation comes in.

Humility + God = Power to do all things

Moses immediately recognized his fear and called upon God for strength.  He was humble and recognized his inability to completely cast Satan out on his own.  As soon as he asked for God's strength, it was given to him.  And then with God's strength, he was able to cast Satan out for good.  He had tried before saying the same things of "get thee hence Satan" and "depart hence Satan", but Satan didn't leave Moses' presence until Moses combined his humility with the strength and power of God.  That is where it's at my friends!!  In recognizing who we really are or in other words being humble, we realize that we need God's help and strength.  In order to conquer Satan, in order to get through trials and tribulations, and in order to turn weaknesses into strengths, we need God!  We need His strength and we need His power.  This is why the Atonement was made by Jesus Christ so that we could repent and have access to God's power and strength.  This is also what the write and burn helps us do.  It helps us kick Satan out of our minds by identifying the deceitful untruths and negative beliefs about ourselves that he has planted there.  Then we use the Atonement as we burn it to help us let go of those beliefs and feelings.  When we are humble and unite ourselves with God's strength and power because we realize we can't do it on our own, we will then gain all the power needed to do and accomplish all that is required of us!  

Favorite Scriptures #10, #11 and #12:

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Philippians 4:13

And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.

Mark 10:27

Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him?  Wherefore, let us be faithful to him.

1 Nephi 7:12

Down through time the same admonition and promise is given.  With Christ, we can do all things if we will just believe in Him!  

So please take this to heart.  Realize who you really are!  You are both nothing and everything at the same time and equal to everyone around you.  Couple that belief and humility with the power of God and you will be able to do all that is required of you!  You will get through the difficult times!  You will create that peace and joy in your life!  I know all of this is true.  I know the happiness that I feel in my life is because with God I was able to overcome Satan and the devastating untrue beliefs that he planted in my head.  My journey is ongoing and I continue to have to overcome Satan on a daily basis, but my weakness has been made into a strength because I now know what to do and where to turn for that strength.  It can be the same for you.  So hang in there.  Because of Jesus Christ, there is hope!  You are not meant to live in despair, misery, and depression.  You are meant to have joy now!  Use the write and burn.  Use the little black book or whatever other tools you may have that help you be aware and identify Satan's lies.  Then let the lies and untruths go.  Live in the moment.  Be humble and turn to God for strength to overcome.  And again please email me if there is anything I can help you with!

You are amazing!  So go and . . .

be.YOU.tiful!!!