Facing Our Demons

So I just have to begin by giving a shout out to all of my international friends.  Hello to all of you in the United Kingdom, Russia, Germany, France, South Korea, Brazil, Pakistan, Australia, India, Indonesia, and Jamaica!  I have had the incredible experience and opportunity in my life of traveling to several countries in the world. This has created in me a love for all the different people and cultures of the world. We are all so beautiful in our own uniquely different and special way!  When I was in college, I traveled with my father to Russia. I became fascinated by the country and gained a love for the Russian people.  Because of this, I came back to BYU and studied the Russian culture and history. I also studied the Russian language for 3 years. Unfortunately, I am not able to speak or understand much Russian anymore, but I do remember a little.  So to my Russian friends, "Привет! Как дела?"

Thank you all for reading my blog!  I truly hope the information I have shared is of help to you.  And I really hope that the translation from this blog into your language does a good enough job that you can understand what I am saying!  ;)

In this post, I wanted to continue talking about what I talked about in my last post.  I discussed why our emotions continue to resurface by comparing them to a library index drawer and to a tree.  Until we rip out all the cards from the index drawer or yank the tree out by the root, those emotions will continue to resurface.  Sometimes we refer to these negative emotions and painful past experiences as demons.  They come back to haunt us time and time again and because they are so scary, painful and difficult to face, we push them away, shoving them down out of our awareness.  As I talked to a friend about these demons, she commented that sometimes they like to surface at really inconvenient times.  Isn't that the truth?!!!  She said she may be at work or dealing with kids when her demons come haunting.  And in that moment, she can't stop to go do a write and burn or do more digging in order to let it go.  Sometimes we just can't deal with that emotion or experience in the moment it comes up.  So what can we do?

I want to help you be able to see and deal with these demons in a different way.  I actually like to think of them as little children instead of demons.  What does a little child do in order to get our attention when we are busy talking with someone else?  They will usually pull on our pant leg or arm while constantly saying, "Mom!  Mom!  Mom!  Mom!"  We love it when they do that right?  Now I have definitely had times where I reacted to my children in anger and frustration, unkindly telling them to not bug me in that moment because I was busy and, in a sense, pushing them away.  This type of reaction only resulted in an angrier child.  They may go away for a time, but come back even angrier, demanding my attention.  Or they don't go away at all, but keep nagging and pulling at my arm in order for me to acknowledge they are there and that they need me.  But hopefully more often than not, I have had the patience to say to that child, "I can't talk right now sweetie.  Can you please wait until I am done talking with my friend and then I will listen to you?"  This seems to satiate their need better.  They are able to wait because I acknowledged that they needed me even though I couldn't deal with them right then.

Do you see how we can liken that to our demons?  Our demons are just little children trying to get our attention.  They want to be acknowledged.  They want to be heard.  They need our acceptance and love.  Yes, there are many times where we will be busy and we can't deal with those demons in that moment.  However, when we try to push them away or shove them down by telling them that we are busy and don't want to deal with them, they usually come back with more power and force demanding once again to be acknowledged.  So instead of pushing them away, talk to them as you would talk to a little child pulling at your skirt.  "I know you are there.  I acknowledge that you need me to listen to you and hear you out.  I'm sorry but now is not a good time.  Can you please wait until later when I can give you my undivided time and attention?"  By giving our demons this moment of our time to acknowledge their presence satiates their need enough that they will back off.  Our job then is to do as we say.  Make a note to yourself of the feeling or experience that came to mind, then take the time later to deal with it.  If we don't take the time to deal with it later, then guaranteed that feeling or experience will come haunting us again at another time.

It may sound hokey to treat our demons like they are a person, but doing this is advantageous for us in two ways.  First, it enables us to recognize that these demons have needs and if we can give them what they really need, they will stop haunting us.  What they really need is our time, attention, acceptance, and love.

Repeat of Favorite Quote #6:

You'll never get enough of what you don't need because what you don't need won't satisfy.

And that is absolutely true for our demons.  If we are not giving them what they really need, they will never be satisfied and will come back needing more.

I have to make another plug here for one of my all-time favorite books called Eating in the Light of the Moon.  Please read this book!  The author, Anita Johnston, uses metaphors to expound on all of the things I have shared in this blog.  It is incredibly enlightening and you will have many "A-ha!" moments as you read it!

Anita so eloquently describes these demons and their need to be fed.  She tells a story about a woman who chased her hunger only to be led to some very hungry demons.  She says:

The old woman, like many of us, chased her food because she was driven by her hunger.  What is the food that you chase?  What might it symbolize?  And what is the hunger you are trying to satisfy?

Remember, our problem is not with food.  It is with the reasons for which we go to food.  What are we really hungry for?

Anita continues:

For this woman, chasing her food led her to an encounter with hungry demons that lived hidden underground and had voracious appetites.  You may recognize these demons as the ones you wrestle with within your own psyche, the ones that don't show their faces in the light of day but become ever present when the sun sets.  What is it they are hungry for?  What do they want you to feed them? . . .  What would you call your demons that hide deep in the dark crevices of your unconsciousness?  Addiction to Eating?  Loneliness?  Fear of Rejection?  Financial Insecurity?  Self-Loathing?  Not-Good-Enough?  Never-Thin-Enough?  What is it that haunts you, nags at you, holds you captive, wants you to feed it?

Imagine you have a magic paddle that can create a limitless supply of food to feed your demon.  What would that food be?  What does your demon want to eat?  What does it want you to feed it?  Attention?  Love?  Money?  Self-Acceptance?  Your Rage?

As long as we interpret our nonphysical hunger literally, we will attempt to use food to satisfy it, and we will remain hungry forever.  But when we can define our hungers and develop a deeper awareness of what we are hungry for, we can begin to seek the appropriate nourishment.

I love how she states that!  So when you do get the time to face your demons, ask them what they are really hungry for.  Why do they keep haunting you?  If you can give them what they really need, they will no longer have a need to haunt you.

Secondly, treating our demons like little children enables us to disassociate ourselves from them.  We are treating them as separate entities instead of as part of who we are.  Remember, thoughts, feelings, and even past painful experiences do not define who we are.  We are so much more!!  However, by not facing them and dealing with them, we give them power and control over us.  Treating them as another human being gives us the emotional distance to then face them, deal with them, and let them go.  It allows us to have compassion and love towards that feeling or experience instead of judgement, anger or fear.  If we allow ourselves to treat our demons with honor and respect by giving them our time and attention, what they can give back to us may be a pearl of great price.  What they can tell us may be the very thing that will free us.

So become aware of your demons.  If you can't take the time in the moment they come haunting to deal with them, at least acknowledge their presence and make note to deal with them later.  Then MAKE the time later to address them and allow them to speak.  Use the write and burn to get out on paper all that they tell you.  Keep asking questions so you can get to the root of the emotion or experience, so you can find out the real reason of why your demon is still haunting you.  What is that demon really hungry for?  Then burn that paper.  Let go of your attachment to that feeling or experience.  Set your demon free.  When we free our demons, we free ourselves.

I know you can do this because I did it!  Don't be afraid of those demons, but rather see them as a little child just trying to get your attention because they so desperately want to share something with you.  Recognize that by giving your demons what they really need, they can actually become your greatest friends, giving back to you what you really need.

Please email me or make a comment at the end of this post if you have any questions or need help with anything.  I would love to know what you are wondering about or if you are not quite grasping a concept.  Let me know how I can help because my passion, purpose and greatest desire is to assist you in creating your own joy and peace.  Again my email is rachellerchase@yahoo.com.

You are awesome, amazing, wonderful, and brilliant, so set your demons free and go . . .

be.YOU.tiful!!!